I Have a Testimony of Joseph Smith: Part 1

On Sunday April 19, the Relief Society lesson in many wards was titled “Joseph Smith, an Instrument in the Hands of the Lord.” (Chapter 7 from Teachings of Presidents of the Church Ezra Taft Benson) It was an incredibly spiritual lesson for me, and influenced me to share my testimony of Joseph Smith – I also have been wanting to do this since Elder Neil L. Andersen’s October 2014 General Conference talk “Joseph Smith.” So, this post- done in two parts - will be how both Elder Andersen’s talk and this Relief Society lesson strengthened my testimony of Joseph Smith. Part 1 will be about Elder Andersen’s talk, and Part 2 will be about the Relief Society lesson.

I want to preface Part 1 by saying that Elder Andersen’s messages always speak directly to me. I first noticed him during October 2011 conference when he gave his talk “Children”, and ever since then his talks have always touched my heart. So, fast forward three years later, and I have pen and paper ready to take notes on what he is going to tell me.

During his talk I wrote down in my journal “How to handle false stories about Joseph Smith – how to determine the truth from the lies.” This was very important in my personal life. Elder Andersen talked about how we can help ourselves and others when questioning Joseph Smith as a true Prophet. And one of the most important things he said was, “you won’t be of much help to others if your own testimony isn’t securely in place.” That really got me thinking about my own testimony of Joseph Smith. I had always had one, I never doubted he was a true prophet who restored Christ’s Church to the earth, but I only shared it with people who also had a testimony because I didn’t think I was strong enough to stand up to the adversary that is against Joseph Smith. Elder Andersen’s talk started to give me the strength that I need.

Elder Andersen began his talk by reminding us that Joseph Smith’s name has been and will continue to be spoken of in both positive and negative ways. He asked, “Why does the Lord allow the evil speaking to chase after the good?” And immediately answered, “One reason is that opposition against the things of God sends seekers of truth to their knees for answers.” I have heard so many converts’ stories talk about how they were searching for an answer to something when they found the Church. And it rings true for anyone, the times I pray most fervently are the times something is troubling me.

“Joseph Smith is the prophet of the Restoration. His spiritual work began with the appearance of the Father and the Son, followed by numerous heavenly visitations. He was the instrument in God’s hands in bringing forth sacred scripture, lost doctrine, and the restoration of the priesthood. The importance of Joseph’s work requires more than intellectual consideration; it requires that we, like Joseph, ‘ask of God.’ Spiritual questions deserve spiritual answers.” (emphasis added)

That statement by Elder Andersen is so powerful, and I am working towards having the courage to saying something similar. I want to point out the two underlined portions. The first, “Joseph Smith is the prophet of the Restoration.” He didn’t say “I believe Joseph Smith is…” He stated as fact, because it is. Joseph Smith is the prophet of the Restoration. Because of Joseph Smith, we have Christ’s true Church on the earth today. One of my goals with strengthening my testimony is to replace “I believe” with “I know.” The second underlined portion, we need to “ask of God.” After all of the research and study, the next step is to kneel down and pray. Moroni challenges us to do the same thing with the Book of Mormon, and now Elder Andersen has challenged us to do that with Joseph Smith. And really, the two are interconnected. Whenever I have prayed about that, I usually feel silly asking a question I already know the answer to: I know the Book of Mormon is true, and I know Joseph Smith is a true prophet. So, I am changing my question to what I need next: how can I teach that and share it with others?

Elder Andersen next talks about those who are criticizing Joseph Smith and how Latter Day Saints should respond. He said, “Let us offer kindness to those who criticize Joseph Smith, knowing in our own hearts that he was a prophet of God and taking comfort that all this was long ago foretold by Moroni.”

I’ll be honest here, offering kindness is the last thing on my mind when I come across a negative conversation about Joseph Smith. It usually makes my blood boil, and I don’t say anything because I’m so angry that I don’t have the Spirit with me and I don’t think I would say the right thing. And when I do calm myself enough to invite the Spirit in, I am usually prompted to not say anything because those in the conversation are not in a place to listen. And so I take Elder Andersen’s advice and feel comfort that I know in my heart, even if I don’t it say out loud at that time.

Elder Andersen then talked about what he calls “sincere inquirers”, or people who are not asking questions to attack, but because they honestly want to understand. I can’t remember if I have ever come across a sincere inquirer, but the advice Elder Andersen offered helped me tremendously with my own testimony – or how to share it.

One thing we can do is “share the words” of those who knew Joseph Smith personally. Elder Andersen gave an example by John Taylor (one of the men who was with Joseph when he was killed): “I testify before God, angels, and men, that [Joseph] was a good, honorable and virtuous man - …[and] that his private and public character was unimpeachable – and that he lived and died as a man of God.” This obviously requires research, but I know that as we search these accounts out to help others, our own testimonies will be strengthened as well.

When coming across information Elder Andersen differentiates between the secular and spiritual: “You may understandably question what you hear on the news, but you need never doubt the testimony of God’s prophets.” A couple months before the October 2014 General Conference, I had an experience that prompted me to start to learn more about Joseph Smith and early Church history. As I searched out materials to begin with, I felt uncomfortable with the ones I had found. I thought that maybe I shouldn’t be researching this at all, and so I prayed and asked Heavenly Father if I was doing the right thing, and if I was where should I begin. I got the impression to start with the material found on lds.org and published by the Church – which should have been the obvious choice all along.

Elder Andersen also reminded me that while some information about Joseph may be true, it is presented out of context. As a History major I see this quite often in any discussion about any past event or person. There are some things that once put back into the correct historical context make sense, and are easily acceptable; others can still be confusing. When that happens, I go by faith. I know that can feel like an overused answer, “Just have faith!” But it is so true, which is why we hear it so often. Faith has helped me and strengthened me when intellectual and material answers have let me down.

Elder Andersen ends this section of his talk by saying that “Each believer needs a spiritual confirmation of the divine mission and character of Joseph Smith. This is true for every generation. Spiritual questions deserve spiritual answers from God.” A couple paragraphs later he tells us how we can receive these confirmations: prayer, reading the first vision (and he challenges us to read Joseph’s testimony out loud so we can hear it in our voice), reading the Book of Mormon (he challenges us to find verses that we know to be true and share them with others), and/or bearing your own testimony. It will come to each person differently.

I haven’t had one big confirmation and that was it, but rather several little ones that have added to my growing testimony; and Elder Andersen’s talk was the cherry on top for me. His talk encouraged me to put myself out there and state that I know Joseph Smith was a prophet. I know he saw Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I know he restored the gospel to this earth. And just as I know that Joseph Smith was a prophet, I know that Thomas S. Monson is a prophet now. I know it because I have felt the Holy Ghost testify it to me, and the witness of the Holy Ghost is a true witness.

Three and a Half Months as a Working Mom

When my first child was born, I was still in college; which meant I had to put off being a SAHM until after I graduated. I didn't want to overload myself with either homework or learning how to be a mom, so I cut back on my school work by only taking 6 credits a semester. Even though this pushed back graduation, it allowed me to do well in my classes while still taking care of my son. Also, I only had class 2 or 3 times a week and my son was never at the babysitter's longer than 4 hours.

My last semester of college was student teaching. This meant that I would be gone from 7:30am-3:30pm Monday-Friday for three and a half months. I was going to briefly experience what it is like to be a working mom. Luckily I had found a babysitter that my son LOVED, so I wasn't worried about him. What I was not prepared for was how this would take its toll on me and the state of my home.

For the first couple of weeks things were fine. I was tired due to lack of sleep, but I was still cooking and cleaning and keeping up with everything - mainly because I was still team teaching with my mentor teacher and using his materials. Once I was given more responsibility and control of the classroom, I began to struggle at home. Also at this point I had hit the nausea state of my second pregnancy. I spent my evenings lesson planning and then going straight to bed because I was so tried and sick. This caused my domestic responsibilities to fall behind.

I slowly stopped cooking, cleaning, and taking care of my son. My husband did a great job of taking care of our son. He bathed him, fed him, cleaned up after him, and played with him. But my husband also had to work and didn't have endless time to step up were I had stepped down. On the weekends he helped pick stuff up, but during the week, our home was a disaster area. Halfway through the second month of student teaching I was doing the bare minimum at home: dishes and laundry.

At the beginning of the third month of student teaching, my mom came to the rescue. For two weeks, my mom brought dinner over for my family. I can never thank her enough for helping me out during such a stressful time. I was able to get my home back in order during spring break and ended student teaching with both my school life and home life doing well. I am so looking forward to graduation and spending the summer preparing for my second child!

This was quite an experience for me. There were many times where I felt like a terrible mom because I neglected my son and my home while finishing school. Both my husband and my mom constantly reminded me that I was doing fine, I was pregnant and in school, no one was judging me. Throughout this time, I kept thinking to myself, "I don't know how working moms do it." What working moms do is really quite amazing. They work all day, and then come home to take care of their family. And they do this year after year - I only did it for three and a half months and failed miserably.

Now this was only my experience. I don't think that working moms have messy homes or neglect their kids. I fully believe that they have a system down that works for their family. And I'm sure that if I wanted to work after graduation or if I needed to, I would figure it out as well. But for the short amount of time that I walked in a working mom's shoes, my eyes were opened. And I want to say something to working moms: I applaud you. I commend you. I respect you. I know that you work so hard and that you love your families so much. I know that there are stressful moments, but you are still amazing. You are good mothers. Don't let anyone tell you different.