"I will not tell you who to marry, but I will tell you who to NOT marry."

Family Search's question for June 24th was: What are some of the signature phrases, quotes, or sayings that remind you of your dad? Of your grandfathers?

My dad's favorite thing to say when I was dating was, "I will not tell you who to marry, but I will tell you who to NOT marry." As I tell you about how this saying came about, it will lead to the story of how Gerson asked my dad for permission to marry me.

One of my high school boyfriends was someone that my dad was not fond of at all. My dad would say, "Chelsey, I will not tell you who to marry, but I will tell you who to NOT marry; and I am telling you to not marry him." I always assured my dad that I was not planning on marrying that boyfriend, but as long as I dated him my dad was worried that I would run off and elope with him the minute I graduated from high school. Luckily for my dad's stress levels, we broke up long before I graduated high school, we broke up before I even finished my junior year.

When I first started dating Gerson my dad was skeptical. Not that he had a problem with the kind of person that Gerson was (funny tangent, my dad called Gerson "Gerson the person" when we first started dating), but he was worried that Gerson was a rebound since I had recently experienced an emotional breakup. My parents knew that at 24 years old Gerson was looking for marriage, and they didn't want me to get serious with someone if I wasn't ready for that. I assured them that Gerson was no rebound and the more they got to know him, the more they liked him. In fact, Gerson is the first and only boy that I have brought home that my dad liked!

Fast forward a few months, and Gerson and I were talking about getting married. I was really nervous to bring it up with my parents, because I was only 19 and I thought that they wouldn't approve of me getting married so young. I tearfully brought it up with my mom first (that's how scared I was!), and she hugged me and told me that she would support us. She talked to my dad, and he called Gerson and I into the office (our computer room) and said, "So mom says you two are talking about getting married." Gerson and I looked at each other hesitantly, and my dad smiled and said, "It's ok! If you two are sure about this, we'll support you."

We went ring shopping after that. I picked out my favorite at each place, and Gerson privately picked from those. I had told him that I wanted him to ask my dad before he proposed. I didn't care when or how, I just wanted him to. It has nothing to do with a patriarchal society, or me being my dad's property. It's just I'm a traditional girl, and I think it's romantic.

Gerson and I did our homework together almost every night at my parents' house when we were dating. So on one of those nights I went to go print something off and it was just Gerson and my dad in the living room. Gerson said to my dad, "So, I don't know if Debbie told you, but I got the ring." My dad said, "Yeah, she told me." Gerson went on, "I'm supposed to ask you..." and my dad kind of chuckled and said, "Debbie and I have been talking, and we really like you. I have always told Chelsey that I will never tell her who to marry, but I will tell her who to not marry; and I haven't told her to not marry you." Then they went back to watching whatever game was on. Gerson proposed a week later.

Honestly, that entire experience just fits all of our personalities. I love that we are all a family now.

Be Money Smart

Family Search's question for June 17th was: What life lessons have you learned from your father?

My dad is very good at finances. He saves well, he researches before making big purchases, and he understands credit. He did his best to teach what he knows to me by giving me experiences as a child and increasing my financial responsibility as I got older.

My parents didn't give me an allowance or pay me to do chores, so until I could work for other people, the spending/saving money I had was birthday money from relatives and the tooth fairy. They taught me about tithing with my birthday money by helping me give 10% of my birthday money to our Church. There were a couple of times where Michael and I begged them to pay us for doing chores. My dad gave in and created a chore chart. If we wanted to get paid, we had to keep track of it ourselves, Dad wasn't going to do it for us. Nothing cost very much, like unloading the dishwasher was $0.05. At the end of each month we would add up what we recorded and my dad would pay us. That slowly fizzled out because both of us were bad at recording when we did a chore.

My parents did eventually pay me to babysit Michael when I was about 9 or 10, and by 11 I was babysitting other neighborhood families. In between 11 and 16 years old I babysat for five families regularly. I also briefly had a pet sitting "business." I advertised my services in the neighborhood to feed people's pets and water their plants while they were on vacation. All of which my parents supported, as my dad also has his own business on the side of being a school teacher. My dad is a DJ for school dances, weddings, and private parties.

During my babysitting years I got invited/accepted to do a summer study abroad program. The trip cost $5,000. My dad made me a deal that if I came up with half of the money, he would pay for the rest of the trip! There was no way that I could make $2,500 in the time before the trip. We talked to the director and they said that my name could stay on the list while I saved up for it and I could go on a different trip in a different year. Four years later I still wasn't quite there, but my dad loaned me the rest of the money and set up a payment plan for when I got back. The year I went was with Edventures Down Under, and I spent two weeks in New Zealand and Australia!

When I was a teenager the credit union my parents bank at created a "Be Money Smart" program for minors. We got a bank account - that our parents had access to - a check book, and a debit card. My parents helped Michael and I sign up for it so that we could get experience in personal banking. It was really helpful and is the basis for my financial learning.

The minute I turned 16 I started applying for jobs. The first job I got was at the Peaks Ice Arena in the concessions stand. I worked there for about 4 months. Then I worked at Mervyn's for about 2 years. Mervyn's went out of business while I was working there, and I spent four months looking for other jobs. I eventually got hired at JC Penny, and I graduated from high school while I was working there.

When I got my driver's license, my mom let me borrow her car for work, dance practice, and other activities. My dad decided that I could drive "for free" to work and dance practice, but anything else I had to pay for gas. My dad created a chart where we recorded when and where I drove the car other than work or dance practice. We added up my total once a month. My parents added me to their phone plan around the same time (this was the flip phone era); they covered the monthly payment, but anything extra like ring tones and games, I paid for.

Mervyn's employees automatically got accepted to have a Mervyn's credit card even if they were under 18 years old. My parents had been Mervyn's card holders for years, so they knew how it worked, and they encouraged me to get one of my own while I worked there so that I could learn how credit cards and credit worked. That was a good learning experience that prepared me to better handle and understand the major credit cards that Gerson and I currently use.

I took early morning seminary my junior year of high school, and after a week of driving me my dad decided I needed my own car. I don't know what my dad had planned up until that point, but I had always assumed that I would have to pay for my own car. After looking over what I made at Mervyn's, and the need to drive myself to school, practice, and work, my dad decided that he would make my car payment and pay for insurance, and I would pay for gas and maintenance. During my senior year my car had a huge maintenance problem, and I couldn't pay for it in one go. My dad loaned me the money like with the study abroad experienced, and set up a payment plan. Gerson and I had been married almost a year by the time I paid that loan off.

My freshman year at BYU my parents paid my tuition, and I believe I paid for my books and supplies. When I married Gerson, I became in charge of everything. I'm glad that they gave me the experiences that I had when I was younger to be prepared to live on my own and be in charge of my own finances. I'm grateful that my dad structured it so that I learned a little bit at a time, instead of throwing me to the sharks to learn on my own without help. The way he taught me about money throughout my life will be the inspiration for how I teach my own children.

My Childhood With My Dad

Family Search's question for June 10th was: What did you enjoy doing with your father when you were a child?

My dad was a very hands-on dad. He played with my brother and I all the time, he built us a playhouse, took us camping every summer, and sledding every winter.

We had all sorts of fun little games with my dad. When we were little and he could lift us, he would lay on the couch, hold us straight above him and fly us around singing, "on the Magic School Buuuuuuuuussssss!!!!!" We would sit on his feet and he would walk around. Over the years my dad developed a belly, and my brother and I would push on it and sing "Jelly tummy! Jelly tummy!" to the tune of Telly Tubbies.

When my parents bought our house, my dad built us a playhouse in the backyard. He designed it, bought the supplies, and built it. There are four openings: a ladder, a slide, a fire pole, and a rope. We put in a plastic table, fridge, and oven/stove/microwave set. Next to the playhouse is a swing set with two swings. When we were really little my dad would push us in the swings and get us going really high, and he would run under us. We thought that was so funny. Now Benjamin and Luna get to enjoy the play house, and my dad bought a baby swing to put on the swing set.

We went camping every summer. My dad has always had a truck for his DJ business, and that's what we took camping. The first truck that I remember had three seats, but since there were four of us, that didn't work. The bed of this truck had "benches" and my dad installed two seat belts for Michael and I to sit back there. I doubt it was legal, but it sure was fun! We always camped up American Fork Canyon, and we camped in the same spot every time. We would walk straight up the mountain and pick up fallen tree branches for firewood. My dad carried all the big ones, and Michael and I carried little ones that I doubt did anything for the fire. We just liked thinking that we were helping. My dad cooked a lot of the meals, and he put up the tent with my mom's help - and my and Michael's as we got older; but my dad was the boss of setting up the tent, we did what he told us to do. He would take us on hikes, and to a lake where we would row two blow up boats: My dad and I in one, and my mom and Michael in the other. We stopped going when Michael and I got into high school and got busy with extra curricular activities and jobs. We have gone once since Gerson and I got married, and I  would love to start taking Benjamin and Luna.

When it snowed we would go sledding on the hill that Pleasant Grove High School is on. We went to Rock Canyon Park a few times, but it was always really crowded. We went sledding at PGHS the most. When we didn't have time to drive there, my dad would pull us up and down the street in the sled. We tried doing that with Benjamin and Luna the past two Christmases, but they weren't really interested. Maybe this year.

I love my dad, and I'm so glad that I have these memories. I'm also glad that we are creating similar memories with my kids, they love their Papa so much!

Mother Figures: Aunts and Dance Coaches

Family Search's question for June 3 was: Who are some important mother figures besides your own mother who have been influential in your life?

There have been several influential women in my life, but I'm going to narrow it down to three: my aunts Selma and Vickie, and my dance coach Angela.

My aunt Selma is one of my dad's older sisters. They come from a family of 12 kids; and Selma is #4 and my dad is #5. Selma was pregnant with her only daughter, Jamie, when my parents got married. A year later my mom was pregnant with me, and Selma was so happy that Jamie would have a girl cousin her age! Jamie and I were raised as sisters, so Selma became a second mom to me early on in my life. I slept over at her house a lot, as well as doing lots of day activities with her family; and her kids did the same with my family. When I was 15 Selma took me and my brother on a trip to California with her kids where we saw Wicked in L.A.! It was so fun! Now my own kids love her. Benjamin loves to talk to her, and Luna will ask her to hold her. Selma will always be close to my family.

My aunt Vickie is one of my dad's younger sisters. She is #11.  She wasn't married nor did she have kids when I was younger, so she had a lot of time and energy to play with her nieces and nephews, and she was "the cool aunt" and she was my favorite aunt. I really looked up to her because she was educated and traveled. She went to BYU Hawaii for college, she served a mission, and she has visited Australia and I believe Sweden. My parents always instilled in me the importance of an education; but watching Vickie's example also helped. I wanted to be just like her. She got her degree in Psychology, and has been an elementary school Psychologist for many years. My Sophomore and Junior year in high school Vickie helped my mom get my dance team performances at the schools in her school district for our tour to California! I was 17 when Vickie got married, and she asked me to be a bride's maid! When she threw the bouquet at her wedding, I elbowed an other girl in the face to catch it. Two years later, Gerson and I got married. Vickie has always been supportive of the choices I have made in my life, and I really appreciate that. Since Vickie lives in California, we don't get to see her very often, but when we do, we always enjoy our time together.

My high school ballroom dance coach Angela Williams really took me under her wing when I was on her team my Sophomore-Senior years in high school. When I tried out for the high school ballroom team at the end of 8th grade, I didn't make any of the teams, but was named as the alternate for JV. About two months into my freshman year, I got moved up to JV! When tryouts came around the next year I was really hoping for Varsity, but I didn't make it. I remained on JV and was named as the Varsity alternate. Two months into Summer vacation, I got a call from Angela and she asked me if I would like to move up to Varsity! That year one of the seniors on the team asked if I would be his partner for open Latin competition (that means competing in costumes against really good dancers). We technically weren't at the open level, but instead of discouraging us, Angela gave us advice on how to get the best experience out of it. That year she put me on the Latin Medley and told me that my private lessons from open competition helped me be good enough for the medley.

My junior and senior years I had a new partner and Angela and her husband Chris were my private coaches. They both really cared about me and my success. They taught me so much, and I knew that I was more than a paycheck to them. My senior year I tried out for the BYU ballroom dance scholarship and team try outs. Candidates who were chosen as semi-finalists were guaranteed a spot in the BYU ballroom program even if they didn't get a scholarship. There were a lot of good dancers that I was up against, and I knew that it would take a miracle to get an actual scholarship, but I really thought I could be chosen as a semi-finalist. I wasn't, and was crushed. I would have to try out again in September. Angela called one of the directors and told him that even though I wasn't the best dancer out of the bunch, I was one of the hardest workers that she knew and I consistently improved. A couple weeks after I received the rejection letter of being a semi-finalist, BYU's National Dancesport competition took place. My partner and I placed 5th in Youth Pre-Champ Latin, and 2nd in Youth Smooth Championship! Angela told one of the BYU directors, and a month later they told Angela to have me contact them. I met with them and they gave me a spot in the program. All because Angela went to bat for me. I only danced for BYU for a year and half, and then my life took a different route with marriage and the major I had chosen. Even though my original goals and plans for my dance career didn't happen, I will always be grateful to Angela and Chris for all that they did for me during that part of my life.

Summers With Grandma Linda

Family Search's question for May 24 was: What is the best thing about your relationship with your mother or grandmother?

I decided that for this post I'm going to tell you about my grandma Linda Peterson. She is my mom's mom. Growing up, I didn't call her Grandma Linda like in the title. I just called her "Grandma" when I was with her, and "Grandma Peterson" when talking about her. We call her Grandma Linda with my kids because they have so many grandmas!

My mom's parents live in Grand Coulee Dam, Washington, and we lived in Provo/Orem, Utah throughout my life; so we didn't get to see them more than once or twice a year (unlike my dad's parents who live in St. George, Utah). We visited every summer for about 2 weeks, and they visited us when they could as well. I had a really special relationship with my Grandma when I was little, and I still do now.

When I would visit Coulee Dam or my grandma would visit Provo, I wanted to sleep next to her. It didn't happen every night and every visit, but often enough that I remember. She was such a good sport about it, though knowing her loving personality, I think she enjoyed it too. It makes me smile, because Benjamin now has the exact same relationship with my mom. Whenever he has a sleepover with my parents, or we are on a combined family trip, Benjamin sleeps next to my mom.

My grandma grew raspberries in her garden, and I loved helping her pick them. In fact, I'm pretty sure I ate a good chunk right there that never made it into the bucket. Coincidentally, Benjamin and Luna do the same thing with my mom and her raspberry plants!

When I was 10 I spent an entire month at my Grandma's house without my parents! I caught a ride with my friend's family whose grandparents were backdoor neighbors to mine. I hung out with her in the elementary school library that she worked in. We spent some time in Seattle with my cousins. And we also spent some time in Spokane so that my Grandma could help my uncle move out of his apartment, he was moving to Provo where I lived! While my Grandma cleaned my uncle's apartment, I read The American Girl books out loud to her - the original ones: Felicity, Josefina, Abby, etc. Then my Grandma, my uncle, and I drove down to Provo.

This August I will be taking Gerson and our kids to Coulee Dam! It will be their first time visiting there, and I'm so excited to show them how I spent my summers as a little girl.