Today's Relief Society Lesson was inspired by Elder Scott D. Whiting's conference talk, "Becoming like Him." In his talk, Elder Scott recommends that each of us discover which Christlike attributes we are lacking or could improve on, and get to work attaining that attribute.
According to Chapter 6 of Preach My Gospel, the following are examples Christlike attributes:
- Faith
- Hope
- Charity and Love
- Virtue
- Knowledge
- Patience
- Humility
- Diligence
- Obedience
The sisters in my ward also added Compassion and Service to the list. (What else would you add?)
Also in Chapter 6, there is an Attribute Activity to help you figure out where you are with each attribute. I copied and pasted the activity into a Google Doc, to make printing it easier for anyone who is interested:
Attribute Activity (Preach My Gospel) Printable
I filled out the survey. In order to better discuss the next part of Elder Whiting's talk; I am going to be open and vulnerable, and tell you that the attribute I need to greatly improve on is Patience.
According to Elder Whiting, the first step in improving patience, is to commit to it:
- I need to have a desire to be patient.
- In order to develop patience, I need to understand what it is. The following scripture verses are attached with the Patience section in the Attribute Activity:
- 2 Nephi 10:17 Christ has promised that he will bless us
- Romans 8:25 Faith requires patience (connects two attributes!)
- Alma 17:11 Those who are patience in their suffering will serve as good examples to others
- Romans 15:1 Choose others over ourselves, and help them in their struggles
- Ether 12:27 The Lord gives us weaknesses so that we will turn to Him.
- "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."
- Thinking about the attribute you have chosen, how can you use the above verse to help you with that attribute? --> The sisters in my ward talked about the difficulty in asking for and accepting help. I'm definitely one of those people, but when I do let my guard down, and ask for help, I am always so grateful that I did.
- Alma 34:40-41 Be patient in your afflictions, and be patience with those afflicting you. Losing patience can lead to sin. Patience allows hope (faith).
- Look for examples of patience in others. Elder Whiting said, "This will encourage us in our own quest, for if others can attain in some measure His attributes, so can we."
- How has watching someone else achieve your goal helped you? --> One sister shared that her roommate in college would go up to people she wanted to get to know and say, "Hi, I'm so-and-so, what's your name." She said that example helped her become more open and social when she wanted to get to know someone new.
- I need to be honest with myself about where I am in my patience levels in comparison to where I need to be.
- I should ask Heavenly Father where I am at, and where I should focus.
Once I have committed to improving my patience, it is time to act! Elder Whiting said:
"These attributes won't come cheaply and suddenly, but through His grace they will come incrementally while endeavoring. Christlike attributes are gifts from a loving Heavenly Father to bless us and those around us. Accordingly, our efforts to obtain these attributes will require heartfelt pleas for His divine assistance. If we seek these gifts to better serve others, He will bless us in our efforts. Selfishly pursuing a gift from God will end in disappointment and frustration."
Two things stick out to me from that quote. First, we need to plead to Heavenly Father for help in this endeavor to improve my patience. That tells me that this isn't going to be an independent project. Second, Elder Whiting states that these attributes need to be used to help others. So, I ask myself, who do I want to serve with my patience? How do I want to serve with my patience? (Ask yourself the same questions in relation to the attribute you have chosen.)
The first answer that comes to my mind is my children. They will benefit the most from me having better patience. The employees of the businesses that I patron will benefit from me having patience. On a more spiritual viewpoint, those who are struggling will benefit from me having patience with them and where they are spiritually.
The third thing to do, according to Elder Whiting, is record our experiences. I should write down what I learned from the scripture verses related to patience, the examples that I see in other people, answers to my prayers, and my own journey as I work on this attribute.
In case we become frustrated with ourselves - and we will - Elder Whiting ends with the following reminder:
"The commandment to be like Him is not intended to make you feel guilty, unworthy, or unloved. Our entire mortal experience is about progression, trying, failing, and succeeding... You are good enough, you are loved, but that does not mean that you are yet complete. There is work to be done in this life and the next. Only with His divine help can we all progress toward becoming like Him."
I can speak from personal experience, that the feelings of guilt and worthlessness will not help in this endeavor. Those are not true forms of motivation. Like Elder Whiting said earlier, the desire to change for the purpose of blessing others is the best motivator. I have a lot of work cut out for me to improve my patience, but I have faith that I can do it. I challenge you to choose a Christlike attribute that you would like to improve, and follow Elder Whiting's steps to bring that attribute into your life.