I love to dream
and have goals. I like to follow
my dreams and find ways to accomplish my goals. But I have recently learned that I should not wait until I
accomplish my goals to be happy.
Of course there is nothing wrong with being happy when I do accomplish
my goals, but I do need to allow other things to make me happy in between my
goals. Because if I don’t I will
never be happy. Because what
happens when I meet a goal? I set
another goal, and another, and another.
And I’m focusing so much on what that future goal will bring to my life
that I forget to look at what my life has right now.
At the moment I
am currently working on two big goals: losing weight and graduating from
college (of course I have other goals as well, but these two are the ones that
work for my message).
The first week
after I had Benjamin I lost 20 pounds, and the second week another 10. After that, I was lucky if I lost one
pound a week. Once I had healed
and gotten used to this new mommy-son schedule I started fitting exercising in
as often as possible. Like most
exercise experiences I started losing weight right away, and then I hit a major
plateau. I went almost six weeks
without losing a single pound. I
didn’t give up on exercising, but it was extremely frustrating.
I eventually
started losing weight again, but not as fast as I wanted. Then I read an article online about how
celebrities who lose baby-weight fast put pressure on the rest of us. A weight loss specialist interviewed
for the article made a statement that helped change my outlook: they said that
“it takes nine months to change your body” (meaning pregnancy) “and it should
take at least nine months to change it back.” The article also reminded readers that celebrities have more
money (and in some instances) more time to put into a fast weight loss program. (I tried to find the article again so
that I could post a link, but I couldn’t.) It was August or September when I read this article, and
Benjamin will not be 9 months old until December. I started feeling a little bit better. Then, in October I tried on my pants
from before I got pregnant, and I was able to comfortably wear one of
them! A week later I was able to
put away all of my maternity tops and bring back many of my tops from before my
pregnancy. I was making
progress! But I still have ten
pounds before I’m at my pre-pregnancy weight. And I really want to lose it before Christmas.
Another goal I
am working on is graduating from college.
I took a break the semester that my due date fell into. A lot of friends from high school
graduated that semester and many more are about to graduate. Me, I will not be graduating until
April 2015. I could graduate
earlier if I was attending school full time, but I’m not. It has been a little disheartening
watching people graduate who are my age or younger while I still have a year
and a half left of school. But I
have a graduation plan set in motion with my academic advisor, so I should be
happy.
About a week ago
I was cleaning up from dinner and listening to my husband play with my son, and
I started thinking about my current situation. I realized that I am generally in a happy place in my life. I started smiling and couldn’t
stop. I decided that I am going to
be happy. Why shouldn’t I be? I’m happily married, I have a beautiful
son, I’m going to school – and doing well in school – I feel fit and healthy,
and I love my family. While I
still want to accomplish my goals, I am not going to wait until I reach those
goals to be happy. I will be happy
along the way as well.
As I went
through this experience I remembered President Dieter F. Uchtdorf’s October
2012 General Conference talk titled Of Regrets and Resolutions. One
section of his talk is titled “I Wish I had Let Myself be Happier.” There are of course several great
quotes that you can take out of this talk, but here are two of my favorite (I
also invite you to read the entire talk):
“So
often we get caught up in the illusion that there is something just beyond our
reach that would bring us happiness: a better family situation, a better
financial situation, or the end of a challenging trial. The older we get, the more we look back
and realize that external circumstances don’t really matter or determine our
happiness. We do matter. We
determine our happiness. You and I
are ultimately in charge of our own happiness.”
And:
“Sometimes
in life we become so focused on the finish line that we fail to find joy in the
journey. I don’t go cycling with my wife because I’m excited about finishing. I
go because the experience of being with her is sweet and enjoyable. Doesn’t it seem foolish to spoil sweet
and joyful experiences because we are constantly anticipating the moment when
they will end?”
I
now invite you to think about what in your current stage in life makes you happy. Write it down and save it
somewhere. I previously listed
some things in my life that make me happy, but those don’t have to be the same
things that make you happy in your life.
Write down everything that makes you happy, and when you need to, read
it over, and find new tings to add to it.
And remember the words of President Uchtdorf: “We do matter.”
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