A Prayer in the Heart - Being in Tune with the Spirit

“Have a prayer in your heart.” I have grown up hearing that phrase, and I always thought I knew what that meant. I figured that it was simply when I was in a position where I needed or wanted to pray, but literally couldn’t get down on my knees, bow my head and close my eyes – like driving a car – so I say a prayer inside my heart. I think that is it in its basic form, but I have recently experienced some deeper meanings to having a prayer in my heart.

I think – a lot. And I have conversations with myself – a lot. Especially when something really big is being discussed or considered controversial. I usually do not jump into the conversations and argue with strangers – or even friends and family. But I do pay attention. I read, I listen, and then I struggle internally. Sometimes my struggle is that after everything I have read and heard, I still am unsure on which “side” I believe or agree with; I understand aspects on both “sides.” Other times, my struggle is that I know what I believe, but I don’t know how to state that belief or defend it in the correct way. It is at these moments that a thought will enter my mind, and everything I was struggling with is perfectly clear. And I’m always like, “Oh my gosh, why did I not think of this before?!” And then I realize that it’s not me finally being brilliant, it’s God answering my questions and calming my struggles. He’s answering the prayer that was in my heart; responding to my desperate search for answers.

As I have had these experiences and studied this topic, I have learned a lot about prayer. The first is that Heavenly Father wants us to converse with him constantly. Alma 34:27 says, “Yea, and when you do not cry unto the Lord, let your heats be full, drawn out in prayer unto him continually for your welfare, and also for the welfare of those who are around you.” And D&C 19:28 says, “And again, I command the that thou shalt pray vocally as well as in thy heart; yea, before the world as well as in secret, in public as well as in private.”

lds.org gives us an example of how we can do this, “Although we cannot be continuously on our knees, always offering a personal, private prayer, we can let our hearts be ‘full, drawn out in prayer unto [God] continually’ (Alma 34:27). Throughout each day, we can maintain a constant feeling of love for our Heavenly Father and His Beloved Son. We can silently express gratitude to our Father and ask Him to strengthen us in our responsibilities. In times of temptation or physical danger, we can silently ask for His help.”

The second thing I have learned is that we need to use the Spirit when we pray. Romans 8:26 says, “Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.”

A couple years ago while visiting teaching, my companion said that she had been taught to pause every once in a while during prayer and listen to the Spirit to guide her what to say. I started doing that and have noticed how much my prayers have changed in how personal they are and how I talk to Heavenly Father. When I use the Spirit in my prayers I feel like I am having a conversation with Heavenly Father and I find it easier to listen to and accept the answers I am given.

Which leads into the third thing I have learned, and that is how Heavenly Father answers our prayers. In a June 2014 Ensign article by Elder Richard G. Scott (Agency and Answers: Recognizing Revelation) we are told how Heavenly Father answers our prayers:

“When He answers yes, it is to give us confidence. When He answers no, it is to prevent error. When He withholds an answer, it is to have us grow through faith in Him, obedience to His commandments, and a willingness to act on truth. We are expected to assume accountability by acting on a decision that is consistent with His teachings without prior confirmation.” – pg. 50

“He will confirm the correctness of our choices His way. That confirmation generally comes through packets of help found along the way. We discover them by being spiritually sensitive. They are like notes from a loving Father as evidence of His approval. If, in trust, we begin something that is not right, He will let us know before we have gone too far. We sense that help by recognizing troubled or uneasy feelings.” – pg. 50

I have found this to be true. The most common one I experience is where I have to do my own research, study and actions before I receive an answer from Him. And along the way I feel little moments of guidance that tell me, “yes, go this way” or “no, stop doing that.” And I truly get a “yes” or a “no” once I have done all that I can and present my “findings” to Him through prayer. One recent experience of this was I felt like I wanted to pursue a certain route and I was unsure of where to begin. So I started researching, but I didn’t like any of the sources that I was coming across. I talked to my husband about it and I could tell that he was not comfortable with the idea. I then went to Heavenly Father in prayer; I went to bed as confused as ever, but when I woke up in the morning my mind was clear and I realized that I did not need to pursue that at the moment and I was better off doing other things.

Elder Scott also reminds us to accept the answer when it is “no”: “Heavenly Father hears our prayers. He may not always answer as we expect, but He does answer—in His own time and according to His will. Because He knows what is best for us, He may sometimes answer no, even when our petitions are sincere.”

I have recently twice had the answer to my prayer be “no,” and I had to find a way to accept that. I’ll admit I really struggled accepting that. The first “no” I was able to quickly accept as I found a new “solution” that became a “yes.” The second “no” I am still unsure what to do with. I have had moments of feeling helpless and heart broken, but I have also felt comfort and love from Heavenly Father and those feelings overpower the negative ones. During this process I have been reminded to focus on my immediate family – my husband, my son and myself – and that has pointed me back to the straight and narrow and I got back to being happy again. That is the key to accepting the “no” answers, keeping Heavenly Father and your family close. And we keep Him close by being in tune with the Spirit having a prayer in our hearts.

And the fourth thing I have learned is to pray to learn God’s will, not to receive a specific desired outcome. This goes along with using the Spirit when we pray. When the purpose of our prayers are to ask for His will, then the answers He sends are easier to hear and accept. But when the purpose of our prayers is to find a specific answer we have in mind, then we can accidently block out the Spirit and we won’t hear the answer because we will be so intent on trying to find our desired outcome. I’m not saying that you can’t hope for a specific answer, but when your desired outcome is the only answer you will accept, then you run into a problem. Elder Scott said it more simply:

“Sometimes answers to prayer are not recognized because we are too intent on wanting confirmation of our own desires. We fail to see that the lord would have us do something else. Be careful to see His will.” – pg. 51

This is why using the Spirit when we pray is so important, because he will always guide us to say our feelings and then ask God what His will is. And when that happens, the Lord will answer. I promise He will answer. Sometimes He literally gives me an answer in my heart and mind, and sometimes He leads me to something (a talk, a person, a scripture verse, etc.) that I haven’t yet found that gives me an answer. And as I have become more in tune with His Spirit, I don’t have to struggle so hard and so long on my own before I feel his guidance.

I know that He is there, I know that He hears you, and I know that He will answer.

So, what are your personal experiences with prayer? What have you learned about Heavenly Father, the Spirit, and yourself from prayer? How have your prayers been answered? If you don't want to share with anyone else, at least write it down in your journal or on your computer, somewhere. Recording your thoughts is so refreshing. And remember: Heavenly Father loves you and He will answer.