The Growing Division Among Women and Who is Behind It

As women - as human beings - we naturally separate ourselves by our differences and gather together by our similarities. We feel good being surrounded by people who are in similar circumstances as us; and feel judged, inadequate and scared of those different from us. Some common divisions are: being single, being married, being a mom, not being a mom, being a SAHM (Stay-At-Home-Mom), being a working mom, breastfeeding, formula feeding, home births, hospital births, feminists, non feminists... you get the picture.

Depending on which social circles you run in, certain groups are painted as "the mean girls" of that aspect of life.  Moms are often accused of judging women who are not mothers, women who breastfeed are accused of judging women who formula feed. But the reality is that every "group" feels judged by their opposite "group". Single women feel judged by married women, and vice versa. Women who are not mothers feel judged by those who do, and - believe it or not - women who are moms feel the same way. SAHMs feel judged by working moms, and working moms feel judged by SAHMs. Once, again, you get the picture.

While there are real mean girls in each "group" that say and do terrible things, most of the time, hurt feelings were not intended. A mom can't express how much she loves being a mom without being told she's hurting the feelings of women who are not moms. A SAHM can't express how much she loves staying home with their kids without being accused of making working moms feel guilty. A breastfeeding mom can't express the bond she feels feeding her child without being called a nipple nazi. Formula feeding moms can't share which brand of formula helped their baby without fearing getting that dreaded "breast is best" comment. Women who are single and/or childless by choice can't voice that fact without getting overwhelmed with all of the "you're missing out" comments. It's gotten to the point where no one can say anything to anybody without offending somebody. So because of this, we stay in our groups, and we don't branch out, and we think those "other" women are the mean girls.

Do you want to know who is behind all of this? Satan. Satan knows that dividing us strengthens him, because we can't defeat him by ourselves. He turns differences into insecurities, insecurities into hurt feelings, hurt feelings into anger, and anger into hate. How are we supposed to raise our families correctly if we are surrounded by so much negativity? We can't. Then our children are raised in a divisive environment, and they continue this cycle of division. And he does this to more than just women and mothers. He does this to everyone, dividing us along the big lines (race, religion, class, politics) as well as the little lines (neighborhoods, interests, talents, life styles).

Now, this does not mean that Satan "makes" us do and say mean things. It does not mean that people who do and and say mean things hold no accountability - they do. It simply means that he plants that negative seed, and the more we water it, the more power he holds over us. You see, we either water the seed of faith, or the seed of Satan's lies.

 If you find yourself critiquing someone's circumstances or correcting their choices, stop it! If you find yourself feeling judged by someone who is simply expressing joy about their own life, take that seed away from Satan and chuck it! You have the power to do so! God gave you that power in the Garden of Eden when He put enmity between Satan and Eve and gave us all the power to "bruise thy (Satan's) head". (See Moses 4:21 and Genesis 3:15)

So, take that negative and divisive power away from Satan by not feeding into it. Look for the similarities, and don't run from the differences. In fact, embrace the differences. People like to say, "focus on similarities, not differences". But if all we look for is similarities, then when differences come up we don't know what to do with them. We need to celebrate the differences, not stifle them. So look for both, and embrace both. We need to accept that there are different ways to live, different ways to raise a family, and that is okay. We also need to be willing to turn the other cheek if someone is being disagreeable about that, because the only person we can change is ourselves. Change has to be a choice, it can't be forced on anyone or it will not be successful.

We are all children of God, and we need to remember that. Not only do we need to remember it, but we need to teach it to our children, our friends, our neighbors, to people we don't even know. We all want to survive this scary world, and we can't do it alone and divided, but we can do it united.