Friends Change as We Grow, and That's Okay

This week's Family Search question is: What qualities in friends do you most admire?

I have had a lot of friends throughout my short life. I don't want to create a list of qualities that I like, because I just can't come up with any off the top of my head. Because when it comes down to it, my friends are my friends because we enjoyed each other's company, not because they fit a check list of what makes a good friend. I've had good friends and bad friends throughout my life. Very few of my friends I have kept in close contact with into adulthood. That doesn't mean I dislike them now or that we are no longer friends, our lives simply took us in different directions; but social media allows us to keep updated on each other!

So, for this post I am going to talk about three different groups of friends I have had in my life: Elementary School/Middle School, High School, and Now.

Elementary School/Middle School

During this time of my life, my friends were often those who had the same teacher as me or were in the same ward as me. By 4th grade I belonged to a tight knit group of girls. We played together at recess, after school, and on the weekends. We had sleepovers, took dance classes together, and simply just had fun in each other's company. Looking back, we were all very different from one an other, so we didn't really have anything in common that brought us together, we just simply liked playing together. Between 6th and 8th grade, many of my friends moved away, changed schools, or simply chose a different path; and I entered high school needing new friends.

High School

I spent the first few months of high school hanging out with my cousin and her friends. When I got moved up to the JV Ballroom team, a whole new group of friends was opened up to me. I had  a few friends outside of the dance team, but throughout high school, most of my friends were on the dance team. We had a lot of classes together because of our dance schedule. We ate lunch together, spent time after school together, and the weekends. My Senior year one of the guys and I started doing homework parties at my house, and several of us would do homework together. During my Junior and Senior year a few of us would use the allowable three unexcused absences to ditch ASL and Seminary - I'm not proud of that, and I wouldn't encourage it now, but at the time it was fun. Even the guys I dated were on the dance team. So, during high school my friends came from the common talent we shared for ballroom dance.

Now

I have two friends from high school that I keep in close contact with: Parker Stringfellow (my old dance partner) and Jaelynn Hoffman (who lives in California with her husband and children). I didn't have many friends at BYU. I had classmates, but not friends. I believe part of that was I lived at home before I got married, and the other part was that I got married right after my freshman year. That's okay though, because Gerson, of course, is my closest friend. 😍 My neighbors, the ladies I visit teach, and the ladies who visit teach me are now my friends. Once a week two of my neighbors and I get together for a ladies night! We watch The Bachelor together, but we'll have to think of something else soon because the finale is this week. There is a playground at our apartment complex, and if one mom goes out there with her kids, several  of us follow and we chat with each other while our kids play. I have found these women through living in close proximity to them, having children the same age, and being in the same ward. I really like these ladies, and I hope we can all stay in contact whenever life takes us elsewhere.

So, when it comes down to qualities that I most admire, I'm pretty lenient. I just want someone who is willing to hang out with me, yet who understands that I have a busy schedule and so won't get offended if there are long stretches of time in between seeing them. Someone who I can have adult conversations with, and someone who I enjoy their company and they enjoy mine. I have definitely found that throughout my life, even if the people have changed, the qualities remained the same. And that's okay. As we grow, our lives will take us in different directions. Looking back on my experiences with friends, I definitely want to be alert and helpful with my children as they begin to navigate the waters of friendship and learning how to get along with and include others.

And I want to end with a shout out to some close and life long friends: Lindsey Haskell, Ashleigh Nye, MarSchelle Walker, Jamie Loveridge (cousin), Trisia McClung (cousin), Parker Stringfellow, and Jaelynn Hoffman. I love you all, and I still value your friendship even though we don't see each other often at the moment.