"I will not tell you who to marry, but I will tell you who to NOT marry."

Family Search's question for June 24th was: What are some of the signature phrases, quotes, or sayings that remind you of your dad? Of your grandfathers?

My dad's favorite thing to say when I was dating was, "I will not tell you who to marry, but I will tell you who to NOT marry." As I tell you about how this saying came about, it will lead to the story of how Gerson asked my dad for permission to marry me.

One of my high school boyfriends was someone that my dad was not fond of at all. My dad would say, "Chelsey, I will not tell you who to marry, but I will tell you who to NOT marry; and I am telling you to not marry him." I always assured my dad that I was not planning on marrying that boyfriend, but as long as I dated him my dad was worried that I would run off and elope with him the minute I graduated from high school. Luckily for my dad's stress levels, we broke up long before I graduated high school, we broke up before I even finished my junior year.

When I first started dating Gerson my dad was skeptical. Not that he had a problem with the kind of person that Gerson was (funny tangent, my dad called Gerson "Gerson the person" when we first started dating), but he was worried that Gerson was a rebound since I had recently experienced an emotional breakup. My parents knew that at 24 years old Gerson was looking for marriage, and they didn't want me to get serious with someone if I wasn't ready for that. I assured them that Gerson was no rebound and the more they got to know him, the more they liked him. In fact, Gerson is the first and only boy that I have brought home that my dad liked!

Fast forward a few months, and Gerson and I were talking about getting married. I was really nervous to bring it up with my parents, because I was only 19 and I thought that they wouldn't approve of me getting married so young. I tearfully brought it up with my mom first (that's how scared I was!), and she hugged me and told me that she would support us. She talked to my dad, and he called Gerson and I into the office (our computer room) and said, "So mom says you two are talking about getting married." Gerson and I looked at each other hesitantly, and my dad smiled and said, "It's ok! If you two are sure about this, we'll support you."

We went ring shopping after that. I picked out my favorite at each place, and Gerson privately picked from those. I had told him that I wanted him to ask my dad before he proposed. I didn't care when or how, I just wanted him to. It has nothing to do with a patriarchal society, or me being my dad's property. It's just I'm a traditional girl, and I think it's romantic.

Gerson and I did our homework together almost every night at my parents' house when we were dating. So on one of those nights I went to go print something off and it was just Gerson and my dad in the living room. Gerson said to my dad, "So, I don't know if Debbie told you, but I got the ring." My dad said, "Yeah, she told me." Gerson went on, "I'm supposed to ask you..." and my dad kind of chuckled and said, "Debbie and I have been talking, and we really like you. I have always told Chelsey that I will never tell her who to marry, but I will tell her who to not marry; and I haven't told her to not marry you." Then they went back to watching whatever game was on. Gerson proposed a week later.

Honestly, that entire experience just fits all of our personalities. I love that we are all a family now.