Remembering Joshua

On October 4, 2005 my cousin Joshua Michael Eisenstat returned to our Heavenly Father.  October 4^th was on a Monday that year, and it was right after General Conference.  My dad was at the hospital with Joshua’s mom, Selma and his dad, Mike.  My dad called me and my brother at home to tell us what happened.  We both sat in our rooms and cried until my dad came and took us to the hospital.  When I entered Joshua’s room the first thing I did was go to Jamie and hug for a long time.  Jamie is Joshua’s sister, and not only my cousin but also a best friend.

Throughout the day family members who lived in Utah arrived at the hospital while those outside Utah called to let Selma know when they would be here.  At one point Jamie wanted to go on a walk and I accompanied her.  We found a waiting room and sat in some chairs.  Suddenly she looked at me and said, “I’m not as sad anymore.  I know where he is.  I know that he is with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.  He is perfect now.”

Joshua was 23 years old when he passed away.  He was special needs, and I would like to emphasize the word special.  His brain functioned at about a two-year-old level, but his man-sized heart loved everyone.  He would say hi to family, friends and strangers.  He would give high fives to family, friends and strangers.  And he would give handshakes to family, friends and strangers.

If I could, I would have contacted everyone on my dad’s side of the family and asked for their favorite Joshua memory.  However, that would be a book, not a post (maybe one day).  You see, Selma is the fourth of twelve children and Joshua is the third of 38 grandchildren (so far, I’m pretty sure more are coming).  So I’m going to focus on a few of my memories and invite friends and family who knew Joshua to post their memories in the comments – and sign the comment with how Joshua pronounced your name. 

Joshua loved Barney, and every time he left his house he had to carry a Barney tape with him (you know, the VHS things no one uses anymore).  Well, our family used to have lots of family gatherings in the mountains; usually at a BBQ area in either Provo or American Fork canyon.  At one such occasion Joshua threw his Barney video-tape into the river – oh yeah, Joshua liked to throw things, it didn’t matter what or where.  I mean he has thrown toys over fences, toys in rivers, and French fries out of the car window.  Anyway, so Jamie and I got elected to go after the tape.  We were young enough at the time that jumping into the river to go after Joshua’s Barney tape was actually quite fun, and it made Joshua laugh. 

Joshua was tall and skinny – he was only 99 pounds.  But his arms were long and so when he hugged you his arms wrapped all the way around your body.  I loved hugs from Joshua!  He would squeeze so tight and then say, “Awwww.”  You knew that you were loved when he hugged you that way.   He couldn’t pronounce everyone’s name correctly, but his names for us sure were cute and special.  My dad’s name is Glenn, Joshua pronounced it “Brwen.”  My mom’s name is Debbie, Joshua yelled, “Debeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”  The longer the better.  My brother’s name is Michael, Joshua called him “Mitoe.”  He sometimes got my name right and sometimes missed the L and said, “Chessey.”

He also has these phrases that our family still to this day imitates:

“Where is he?”

“Wha happen?”

“Where’s Selma?”

“I did it!”

Oh and that laugh!  That laugh of pure joy!  I have no idea how to type that one out, but if you have ever heard him laugh, you know that I am talking about.

Joshua LOVED my mom.  One year we were all in St. George visiting Grandma and Grandpa.  It was bedtime and all of us were kneeling in the front room for family prayer.  Joshua decided to jump on my mom in a piggy-back fashion, wrapped his arms around her neck and both of them went crashing to the floor.  Anyone who knows my mom can see her facial expression as this was happening and hear her “bwaaaah!” come out of her mouth.  It was quite entertaining for everyone present.

My dad teaches math at Pleasant Grove High School, and for a few years Joshua attended the special education program there.  One day another faculty member came to my dad’s classroom and said, “Joshua won’t get off the bus, I’m going to watch your class while you help get him off the bus.”  So my dad went on the bus – which was empty except for Joshua – and said, “Joshua!  Throw a pillow at me!”  So Joshua brought his hands together put them over one of his shoulders and “threw a pillow” at my dad.  My dad very dramatically pretended that the “pillow” hit him.  It made Joshua laugh and he came off the bus with my dad. 

Since his passing our family has termed certain moments “Joshua Moments.”  Basically we either see something or experience something that reminds us of Joshua and then we go home and email the whole family about it.  We have all had several over the years, but I’m going to share my favorite one.  My junior year in high school (two years after Joshua’s passing) my ballroom team went on a tour to Northern California.  My aunt Vickie got us some shows at the elementary schools that she was the psychologist for.  After one of the assemblies Vickie kept the special education class in the gym while the other classes returned to their classrooms in order for them to interact with my teammates and I.  One of the boys ran straight to me, jumped up in the air, gave me a high five and yelled, “I did it!”  I said, “You did!”  And gave him a hug.  Then I burst into tears.  That was an exact replica of Joshua: high fiving someone and yelling, “I did it!”

Every year on October 4^th everyone in our big Larson family has McDonald’s at some point during the day.  When I got out of class today and I got McDonald’s for Gerson and I to have for dinner.  I got home from class and discovered the Gerson and Benjamin had watched The Sandlot while I was in class.  The Sandlot was one of Joshua’s favorite movies – others include Angels in the Outfield, anything Barney, Wheel of Fortune, and The Price is Right.

This post does not exactly do Joshua justice, like I said before, that would take a book.  However his mom, Selma, has a blog dedicated to him.  Each post is all about him; they are very touching.  I invite you to take a look at it: joshuasheartfullofhugs.blogspot.com. 

Also, I know that you have lost one or more family members – or even friends as well.  I want you to know that it is ok to be sad and miss them, and it is also ok to enjoy and laugh at the memories you have of them.  Take this time to write down a favorite memory of a loved one who has gone home to Heavenly Father.  And remember, they are with Heavenly Father; you will see them again.

Today is October 4, 2014; a year after I first published this post. In honor of Joshua on the day he returned to Heavenly Father, I would like to add an other memory today. My parents often babysat Joshua. One Sunday when he was staying with us, he went with us to our ward. The Sacrament was being passed and Joshua was sitting at the end of our row. The young man who passed the Sacrament to our row was reverently waiting for the Sacrament to be passed back, and Joshua wanted to talk to him. So Joshua said, "Hi!" They young man responded, "Hey buddy what's up!" And he let Joshua shake his hand. :) It was such a great moment. One of many wonderful examples of Joshua's love for everyone around him; and it is also an example of that young man's kindness, an example of how all of us should treat God's children: with kindness, respect and love. No matter how different one may appear from us, we are all God's children and are all brothers and sisters to each other.