Modesty, a Way to Respect God

Growing up in an Latter-day Saint community, whenever modesty was taught and discussed it always felt that the focus was only on girls staying modest to help boys keep their thoughts clean. Don’t get me wrong; I believe that is extremely important, but if that is the only reason behind modesty, feelings can and have gotten hurt. I remember as a teenager getting upset that I had to be in charge of my male peers’ emotions by what I wore. I took it as a personal challenge to prove that I could wear what I wanted and still be seen as a good, moral person. I felt that it was the boys’ problem if they couldn’t control their thoughts.

For the most part I was modest. My High School had a dress code, and I followed the “Dress and Grooming Standards” in the Strength for Youth at Church and when I went to BYU. But I really fought it on weekends and during the summer. When my husband and I were preparing to get married, I had to get rid of a lot of clothes. I also had to buy a whole new set of summer attire, because I wanted to go through the temple and knew that my current wardrobe would not work with garments. I was spending money when I should have been saving it for my new life with my husband.

I didn’t really think about modesty too much after going through the temple, I just started wearing what would cover my garments. Then, about six months ago there was an explosion on my Facebook newsfeed of blog posts and articles about modesty. About half of them were emphasizing the traditional idea that girls need to be modest in order to keep boys’ thoughts pure, and the other half were angry responses about how boys need to learn to control their thoughts and that women should not be judged by what they wear. I do agree with points made on both sides, but I also think that modesty has more aspects to it than just keeping thoughts pure – more spiritual aspects. At the time I wanted to say that I believe that modesty also shows our respect towards God, who is the creator and giver of our bodies. And since our bodies are gifts from God, and we have been taught that our bodies are temples,  then we should treat our bodies as such. I realize that this post is about six months late, but as a college student and a mother, I didn’t have time to type this in one sitting. I also wanted to make sure that I worded everything in the way I wanted to, and I needed to spend time looking through lds.org to find the best quotes on modesty. So, here are my thoughts on modesty:

I want to start off by saying that I believe that the same modesty standards can and should apply to both genders. I believe that both men and women should not wear clothing that is too tight (one thing that helps me is if I feel like I have to suck in my stomach then my shirt is too tight, and if I cannot walk normally then my pants are too tight). I also believe that both men and women should wear clothing that will cover garments before and after going through the temple. It is very common to not think about what will or will not cover garments until you are about to go through the temple or after already going through the temple – I was one of those people. Looking back, I wish that I would have thought about that more during my teen years. I have recently realized that my mom was trying to get me to think about that when picking out clothing, but I was too busy fighting her to listen. Now, that I have started a family of my own, it’s my turn to do the teaching; and I hope that by putting my thoughts down together I will be better prepared to teach my children about modesty.

Now that I have gone over what modesty is to me, I’m going to discuss why modesty is important to me. I’ll start with clean and pure thoughts. I realize that this is the most popular argument behind modesty, and not what I want to focus on; but I do want to briefly mention it because it is still important. The most common statement behind this is that girls need to dress modestly so that boys can have clean thoughts. I agree with that, but I also believe that boys should also dress modestly to help girls with their thoughts. Teenage boys are not the only ones who are learning how to control and understand their hormones. Both genders should help each other.

Another important aspect is to make everyone comfortable: yourself and everyone around you. There may be times where immodesty does not lead to impure thoughts, but it still can lead to discomfort. Have you ever been in a situation where someone is wearing something that makes you uncomfortable? You find it hard to look at them, yet you need to give them attention because you are talking to them. You don’t know what to do with your eyes because you don’t want to appear judgmental, but you also don’t want to appear perverted. That is what I am talking about when it comes to discomfort. Another comfort to care about is our own. We should ask ourselves: Am I really comfortable in this outfit (physically and mentally)? Do I care what people think of me in this outfit? What does this outfit say about me? Would I meet with my bishop in this outfit? President Monson? Jesus Christ? Heavenly Father? I remember during the summers and on weekends, if I ran into someone from my ward or a teacher from my school I would feel embarrassed by what they saw me wearing.  I tried to brush it off, but those feelings stuck with me.

When we are modest, we show our commitment to live the gospel and share it. President Ezra Taft Benson counseled us to “dress and groom yourself in a way that reflects your lifelong commitment to share the gospel with others.” For me the words “lifelong commitment” jump out. Sharing the gospel and our testimony is not just 18 months to 2 years, it should last our entire lives; and along with that should we also dress modestly throughout our entire lives. The April 2014 Ensign issue has an entire article dedicated to modesty. Like President Benson, these authors also make the connection between a commitment to modesty and the gospel.  They say that “we show our commitment through consistency: abiding by the Lord’s commandments at all times rather than when it is convenient” (pg. 12). Essentially, it is important to be modest at all times, not just at Church and other similar events.

Our bodies are gifts from Heavenly Father and they should be treated as such. Dressing modestly is one way to show that we know this, believe it, and respect it. In the April 2014 Ensign article about modesty (link in previous paragraph), several young adults gave their opinions on modesty. One young adult, Luis Da Cruz Junior from Brazil said:

“We learn from the gospel that our body is a gift from God.  Our bodies help us progress and become as our Father is. For this reason it is important to dress modestly. By so doing, we show God and others that we have respect for this gift and for others.” (pg. 12)

The page about modesty on lds.org states that:

“Prophets have always counseled us to dress modestly. This counsel is founded on the truth that the human body is God's sacred creation. We must respect our bodies as a gift from God. Through our dress and appearance, we can show the Lord that we know how precious our bodies are.”

Our bodies are also temples. When we dress modestly we show that we know this. In “ToClothe a Temple” John S. Tanner said:

“Yet for teenagers as for children, modesty is finally much more than a matter of tight pants or spandex swimming suits, of hemlines or necklines. Rather, it’s a line drawn in the heart; it’s the result of truly believing that the body is the temple of the spirit.

The same holds true for adults, who may be the worst offenders against the principle of modesty. Certainly their guilt is greater to the degree that they are more knowledgeable. Further, adults who have received their endowments wear a reminder from the temple that the body is a temple, too, for both are sacred sanctuaries of the spirit. The Lord has provided the Saints a powerful shield and protection against immodest dress.”

I also like to think of it like this:

Imagine the outside of any LDS Temple that you have been to. What does it look like? What surrounds it? What colors are present? What messages does it send? How are the people dressed who are going in or out? Now imagine the outside of any Casino in Las Vegas and ask yourself the same questions. While both buildings have very inviting atmospheres, there are key differences. The temple invites eternal happiness, while Las Vegas Casinos invite the possibility of temporary happiness that requires a huge amount of risk. Which type of invitation do you want to present in your countenance? When we know and believe that our bodies our temples, it becomes easier to dress our bodies like temples.

And lastly, when we dress modestly we glorify God and respect Him. Our Heavenly Father is the one who has asked us to dress modestly: “let all thy garments be plain, and their beauty the beauty of the work of thine own hands;” (D&C 42:40) that is just one of MANY references. Since He is the creator of our bodies, and they are gifts from him, isn’t it respectful to treat and care for our bodies the way that He has asked us to?

The April 2014 Ensign article on modesty quotes 1 Corinthians 6:20 by saying that when we dress modestly we “seek to glorify God in your body and in your spirit.” (pg. 10) The authors also said: “In the way we clothe and present ourselves, we communicate our respect for God, for ourselves, and for others.” (pg. 12)

I believe that all of the reasons listed before this one add up to respecting and glorifying God. When we dress modestly we help keep thoughts clean and pure, we help ourselves and others stay comfortable, we outwardly show our commitment to not only live the gospel, but to share it. When we dress modestly we show our knowledge that our bodies are gifts from God, that are bodies are temples and should be treated as such. When our modesty shows these things, we glorify God, who is our Father. As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, we represent Christ at all times. Dressing ourselves in a way that represents and glorifies Him is the best way to represent Him correctly.

So, what do you think? What is modesty to you? Why is modestly important to you? What messages do you think modesty sends? Post your answers in the comments if you wish! At least write it down for your own private use. And when you are done writing it down, live it and teach it.