Thursday, May 12, 2016

My Weight Loss Journey to Self Acceptance

I want to preface this with three points:


  1. This is not a “if you do this I promise you’ll lose weight” article. It is simply the things I have done to improve my life.
  2.  What I did to lose weight is not taught by professional trainers, nor is it practiced by dedicated gym attendees. It was what worked for me in my home.
  3.   My journey is far from over. Now that I have lost the weight I wanted to, I will continue to work towards maintaining healthy living.

I have officially lost all of my pregnancy weight, and I am super close to my goal weight! (Super close as in three pounds away, so… there probably won’t be a visible difference when I reach that goal. Oh my gosh I sound like Regina George, “I wanna lose three pounds.” Ha ha ha ha) This journey has been more than just losing baby weight, it has been a change in my eating habits, exercise habits, and self-esteem. I want to share that journey with you.

How I used to eat

For the first couple years of marriage I didn’t do a lot of real cooking. I could follow basic instructions for things like Hamburger Helper, tacos, spaghetti, etc. But making something like lasagna or chicken cordon bleu? Nope. Part of it was I was still learning how to cook, and part was I didn’t have time to try new and complicated recipes. I was a full time student and a part time employee.

When I got pregnant with Benjamin, I was able to stop working, and my evenings were more open. I started learning how to cook new recipes, and slowly increased the homemade meals that we had. After Benjamin was born I went from taking 12 credits a semester to only taking 6. This also freed up time and energy, so I was able to increase my cooking skills and the number of recipes I was able to do. At this time I also started adding fruit and vegetable side dishes to go with our dinners.

How I eat now

I have continued making excellent homemade dinners for my family. We generally have leftovers for lunch the next day, so our lunches are also excellent and homemade. Since Luna was born the biggest change I have made in my eating habits are what I eat for breakfast and cutting down on snacks.

My breakfast foods used to consist mainly of: Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwiches, Pop tarts, and frozen waffles. I count calories (which I’ll talk more about in the next section), and noticed that the breakfast sandwiches and waffles had too many calories. The Pop tarts were a good amount of calories, but they didn’t last me until lunch and weren’t made of great ingredients. What ended up being the best for me when it came to calories, ingredients, and making it to lunch was oatmeal with fresh fruit and a glass of milk.

Now, my breakfast is usually a bowl of oatmeal with fresh fruit mixed in and a glass of milk. On Saturdays I make a special breakfast because Gerson doesn’t have to go to work, and we all get to sleep in! My Saturday breakfasts are usually double (and sometimes triple) the calories of my breakfast throughout the rest of the week, but it’s not like I’m eating that way every day, so I think it’s okay.

When I was pregnant I snacked ALL. THE. TIME. Which was okay then, but not now. Once I figured out my oatmeal breakfast, I was able to cut out my morning snack. I have also cut out my afternoon snack and replaced it with drinking water. Doing that used to make me starving by dinner, but my body is slowly getting used to it. I sometimes want to snack before bed, but I try to just have a bowl of cereal.

Counting Calories

When it comes to watching what I eat, and knowing how much I exercise, I have chosen to count calories. I know there are debates about whether it’s better to count carbs or calories, or neither; but for me, counting calories is what works best. I use an app/website called “Lose It!”.

On Lose It! You put in your gender, age, current weight, weight goal, and how many pounds you want to lose per week (or you can choose to maintain your current weight). You also answer questions about how active you are. Then Lose It! Uses all of that information to calculate how many calories you should eat per day. As you eat throughout the day you put in the calories that you ate, and it keeps track of them for you. Foods from restaurants, prepackaged food, and individual foods like eggs, fruits and vegetables are already in there; but anything homemade you need to figure out and put in yourself. When you exercise you put in your exercise and Lose It! adds more calories to what you can eat that day.

Counting calories has really helped me see what foods fill me up for how many calories they contain. It has also helped me see how long I need to do each kind of exercise to see the desired results.

How I used to exercise

As a teenager I was a competitive dancer and practiced several hours a week. It kept me skinny and in shape. When I stopped dancing, I needed to find a way to stay active. I tried different exercises videos, but I didn’t really enjoy them. I started going power walking and riding my bicycle with my mom, and I really liked that.

When I got pregnant with Benjamin I was too sick at first to continue to exercise, and when I was better I was horribly misinformed about exercising while pregnant. I thought I couldn’t do anything because I had spent the first trimester lying down. I was terrified of causing damage to his growing body, or worse a miscarriage; so I stayed pretty stationary during that first pregnancy. I gained way too much weight and was very unfit.

After Benjamin was born it took me three months to be ready to exercise again. I exercised to Dance Central and Kinect Sports on our Xbox 360 Kinect. It was a good start. It got me back into the habit of exercising, but it took me a year and a half to lose all but three pounds of my pregnancy weight.

When I got pregnant with Luna I stopped exercising because I also started my student teaching and had no time. After I graduated from BYU I asked my doctor what kind of exercises were safe to start 20 weeks into my pregnancy. I explained that I had spent that last 3.5 months walking around a classroom, so I hadn’t been completely stationary. She said that I could do anything as long as I started slow and didn’t push my body past what it could do. She said to go only until I felt myself getting tired and then to stop, and over time I would notice that I could do more and go longer. I went on walks in the afternoons and did Xbox Kinect Sports in the evenings. I set my Lose It! goal to “maintain weight”. I knew that I would still gain weight – I was pregnant after all – but as I ate and exercised on a “maintain weight” plan, I didn’t gain as much weight as I had with Benjamin.

How I exercise now

I was able to start exercising again a month after Luna was born! I’m pretty sure it’s because I was a lot more active during that pregnancy. In the past my focus has been on cardio activities, and while I still do that, I also want to strengthen my stomach and become more flexible. So I have added a ten minute ab workout before cardio, a ten minute stretching routine after cardio, and a once a week yoga routine.

I don’t like to do the same thing every day, so I mix it up. I have a Kathy Smith “Tummy Trimmers” DVD that has five different ab videos on there. I rotate through four of them (the fifth uses a stability ball which I currently do not own). I also rotate through Kathy Smith’s “Dance Your Body Slim” DVD, Kinect Sports Rivals for the Xbox One, Kinect Dance Central for the Xbox One, and element’s “AM & PM Yoga for beginners” DVD . I then always end with the stretching routine on the belly dancing portion of Kathy Smith’s dancing DVD.

My Emotional Journey

The changes I have made with how I feel about myself has probably been the best part of this experience. I had really poor body image during my pregnancy with Benjamin. I was not emotionally prepared for how much my body would change. I seriously thought that only my belly would grow, I did not expect the rest of my body to swell up like a balloon as well. I gained 60 pounds that entire pregnancy, and I felt terrible about myself. Taking a year and a half to lose almost every pound was very frustrating for me. I didn’t feel pretty, and I didn’t think I was skinny.

I am roughly the same pants size and weight now as I was then, and I feel so much better now. It started with having a much better pregnancy with Luna. I only gained 41 pounds during that pregnancy, and it was gained gradually. I also believe that better eating and actually exercising led to more positive feelings about myself.

The biggest change that has allowed me to have a positive body image is finally accepting the fact that I am a woman now and I have a woman’s body. I spent so much time trying to get back to what I looked like at 19 years old when I got married. I’ll never be 19 again, and I’ve had two kids; but that doesn’t mean that I can’t look and feel good in my new body. My clothes may be size Large, but I am skinny, I just have some slightly bigger curves – in the areas that count. ;) I feel great. I look great. I am beautiful. Knowing that makes me happy, and I am a better mom and a better wife when I am happy.

 

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