Growing up in an
Latter-day Saint community, whenever modesty was taught and discussed it always felt that
the focus was only on girls staying modest to help boys keep their thoughts
clean. Don’t get me wrong; I believe that is extremely important, but if that
is the only reason behind modesty, feelings can and have gotten hurt. I
remember as a teenager getting upset that I had to be in charge of my male
peers’ emotions by what I wore. I took it as a personal challenge to prove that
I could wear what I wanted and still be seen as a good, moral person. I felt
that it was the boys’ problem if they couldn’t control their thoughts.
For the most
part I was modest. My High School had a dress code, and I followed the “Dress
and Grooming Standards” in the Strength
for Youth at Church and when I went to BYU. But I really fought it on
weekends and during the summer. When my husband and I were preparing to get
married, I had to get rid of a lot of clothes. I also had to buy a whole new
set of summer attire, because I wanted to go through the temple and knew that
my current wardrobe would not work with garments. I was spending money when I
should have been saving it for my new life with my husband.
I didn’t really
think about modesty too much after going through the temple, I just started
wearing what would cover my garments. Then, about six months ago there was an
explosion on my Facebook newsfeed of blog posts and articles about modesty. About
half of them were emphasizing the traditional idea that girls need to be modest
in order to keep boys’ thoughts pure, and the other half were angry responses
about how boys need to learn to control their thoughts and that women should
not be judged by what they wear. I do agree with points made on both sides, but
I also think that modesty has more aspects to it than just keeping thoughts
pure – more spiritual aspects. At the time I wanted to say that I believe that
modesty also shows our respect towards God, who is the creator and giver of our
bodies. And since our bodies are gifts from God, and we have been taught that
our bodies are temples, then we
should treat our bodies as such. I realize that this post is about six months
late, but as a college student and a mother, I didn’t have time to type this in
one sitting. I also wanted to make sure that I worded everything in the way I
wanted to, and I needed to spend time looking through lds.org to find the best
quotes on modesty. So, here are my thoughts on modesty:
I want to start
off by saying that I believe that the same modesty standards can and should
apply to both genders. I believe that both men and women should not wear
clothing that is too tight (one thing that helps me is if I feel like I have to
suck in my stomach then my shirt is too tight, and if I cannot walk normally
then my pants are too tight). I also believe that both men and women should
wear clothing that will cover garments before and after going through the
temple. It is very common to not think about what will or will not cover
garments until you are about to go through the temple or after already going
through the temple – I was one of those people. Looking back, I wish that I
would have thought about that more during my teen years. I have recently realized
that my mom was trying to get me to think about that when picking out clothing,
but I was too busy fighting her to listen. Now, that I have started a family of
my own, it’s my turn to do the teaching; and I hope that by putting my thoughts
down together I will be better prepared to teach my children about modesty.
Now that I have
gone over what modesty is to me, I’m going to discuss why modesty is important
to me. I’ll start with clean and pure
thoughts. I realize that this is the most popular argument behind modesty, and
not what I want to focus on; but I do want to briefly mention it because it is
still important. The most common statement behind this is that girls need to
dress modestly so that boys can have clean thoughts. I agree with that, but I
also believe that boys should also dress modestly to help girls with their
thoughts. Teenage boys are not the only ones who are learning how to control
and understand their hormones. Both genders should help each other.
Another
important aspect is to make everyone comfortable:
yourself and everyone around you. There may be times where immodesty does not
lead to impure thoughts, but it still can lead to discomfort. Have you ever
been in a situation where someone is wearing something that makes you
uncomfortable? You find it hard to look at them, yet you need to give them
attention because you are talking to them. You don’t know what to do with your
eyes because you don’t want to appear judgmental, but you also don’t want to
appear perverted. That is what I am talking about when it comes to discomfort. Another
comfort to care about is our own. We should ask ourselves: Am I really
comfortable in this outfit (physically and mentally)? Do I care what people
think of me in this outfit? What does this outfit say about me? Would I meet
with my bishop in this outfit? President Monson? Jesus Christ? Heavenly Father?
I remember during the summers and on weekends, if I ran into someone from my
ward or a teacher from my school I would feel embarrassed by what they saw me
wearing. I tried to brush it off,
but those feelings stuck with me.
When we are
modest, we show our commitment to live
the gospel and share it. President Ezra Taft Benson counseled us to “dress
and groom yourself in a way that reflects your lifelong commitment to share the
gospel with others.” For me the words “lifelong commitment” jump out. Sharing
the gospel and our testimony is not just 18 months to 2 years, it should last
our entire lives; and along with that should we also dress modestly throughout
our entire lives. The April 2014 Ensign issue
has an entire article dedicated to modesty. Like President Benson, these authors
also make the connection between a commitment to modesty and the gospel. They say that “we show our commitment
through consistency: abiding by the Lord’s commandments at all times rather
than when it is convenient” (pg. 12). Essentially, it is important to be modest
at all times, not just at Church and other similar events.
Our bodies are gifts from Heavenly Father and they
should be treated as such. Dressing modestly is one way to show that we know
this, believe it, and respect it. In the April 2014 Ensign article about modesty (link in previous paragraph), several
young adults gave their opinions on modesty. One young adult, Luis Da Cruz
Junior from Brazil said:
“We learn from the gospel that our body
is a gift from God. Our bodies
help us progress and become as our Father is. For this reason it is important
to dress modestly. By so doing, we show God and others that we have respect for
this gift and for others.” (pg. 12)
The page about modesty on lds.org states that:
“Prophets have always counseled us to
dress modestly. This counsel is founded on the truth that the human body is
God's sacred creation. We must respect our bodies as a gift from God. Through
our dress and appearance, we can show the Lord that we know how precious our
bodies are.”
Our bodies are also temples. When we dress modestly we show that we know this. In “ToClothe a Temple” John S. Tanner said:
“Yet for teenagers as
for children, modesty is finally much more than a matter of tight pants or
spandex swimming suits, of hemlines or necklines. Rather, it’s a line drawn in
the heart; it’s the result of truly believing that the body is the temple of
the spirit.
The same holds true for adults, who may
be the worst offenders against the principle of modesty. Certainly their guilt
is greater to the degree that they are more knowledgeable. Further, adults who
have received their endowments wear a reminder from the temple that the body is
a temple, too, for both are sacred sanctuaries of the spirit. The Lord has
provided the Saints a powerful shield and protection against immodest dress.”
I also like to think of it like this:
Imagine the
outside of any LDS Temple that you have been to. What does it look like? What
surrounds it? What colors are present? What messages does it send? How are the
people dressed who are going in or out? Now imagine the outside of any Casino
in Las Vegas and ask yourself the same questions. While both buildings have
very inviting atmospheres, there are key differences. The temple invites
eternal happiness, while Las Vegas Casinos invite the possibility of temporary
happiness that requires a huge amount of risk. Which type of invitation do you
want to present in your countenance? When we know and believe that our bodies
our temples, it becomes easier to dress our bodies like temples.
And lastly, when
we dress modestly we glorify God and
respect Him. Our Heavenly Father is the one who has asked us to dress
modestly: “let all thy garments be plain, and their beauty the beauty of the
work of thine own hands;” (D&C 42:40) that is just one of MANY references.
Since He is the creator of our bodies, and they are gifts from him, isn’t it
respectful to treat and care for our bodies the way that He has asked us to?
The April 2014 Ensign article on modesty quotes 1
Corinthians 6:20 by saying that when we dress modestly we “seek to glorify God
in your body and in your spirit.” (pg. 10) The authors also said: “In the way we clothe and present ourselves, we communicate our
respect for God, for ourselves, and for others.” (pg.
12)
I believe that
all of the reasons listed before this one add up to respecting and glorifying
God. When we dress modestly we help keep thoughts clean and pure, we help
ourselves and others stay comfortable, we outwardly show our commitment to not
only live the gospel, but to share it. When we dress modestly we show our
knowledge that our bodies are gifts from God, that are bodies are temples and
should be treated as such. When our modesty shows these things, we glorify God,
who is our Father. As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day
Saints, we represent Christ at all times. Dressing ourselves in a way that
represents and glorifies Him is the best way to represent Him correctly.
So, what do you
think? What is modesty to you? Why is modestly important to you? What messages
do you think modesty sends? Post your answers in the comments if you wish! At
least write it down for your own private use. And when you are done writing it
down, live it and teach it.
