On Sunday, January 24, I taught Relief Society in my ward. The talk I chose was "Love Your Enemy" by President Dallin H. Oaks. I have loved this talk since listening to it the first time last October. I felt very strongly to choose this talk for my RS lesson, but because of the very obvious political undertones, I originally shied away from it because I didn't want my lesson to turn into a political soap box. I read a few other talks trying to find one to choose, but the spirit kept bringing me back to this one. As I reread it, I noticed two parallel messages: 1. the political one, and 2. a "how-to" for loving one's enemies. For my lesson, I focused on message number two.
The first thing I did before diving into the content of President Oak's talk, was define the word, enemy. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary enemy is: "One that is antagonistic to another, especially one seeking to injure, overthrow, or confound an opponent; something harmful or deadly; a military adversary; a hostile unit or force." Also, in the footnote for Matthew 5:44, the word enemy sends us to the topical guide Opponent. And in the New Testament Student Manual, the expansion for that verse talks about forgiving those who have harmed or injured us. So, for the context of this lesson, the term enemy can by anyone that we feel either negative feelings towards or they have hurt us.
Christ's teachings that President Oak's derives his talk from is Matthew 5:43-44:
"Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love they neighbour, and hate thine enemy.
But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you."
The New Testament Student Manual explains the historical and cultural context behind "hate thine enemy:"
“The commandment ‘Love thy neighbor’ is found in Leviticus 19:18, but no scripture in the Old Testament commands us to hate thine enemy. It appears the Savior was referring to a saying common in His day. The discovery of the Dead Sea Scrolls in 1946 may reveal that some Jews at the time of Christ did in fact teach that they should love fellow members of their community but hate outsiders.” - Chapter 3
So, how do we place ourselves in the mindset to love, bless, do good to, and pray for those who we feel negative feelings towards?
According to President Oaks, the following actions will help.
Do not have the Spirit of Contention in your heart
3 Nephi 11:28-30 "...And there shall be no disputations among you, as there hitherto been; neither shall there be disputations among you concerning the points of my doctrine, as there have hitherto been.
For verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another.
Behold, this is not my doctrine, to stir up the hearts of men with anger, one against another; but this is my doctrine, that such things should be done away.”
I have always loved verse 28, it is marked in my personal scriptures. This time, reading these verses the phrase "the spirit of contention is not of me" stuck out. When we are defending our religious beliefs - a righteous endeavor - if we do so with aggressive words and tone, the message will be lost, the Holy Ghost will leave, and the Spirit of Contention will be present.
Ask the Lord for help
Matthew 7:7-8 "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.
For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth, and to him that knocketh it shall be opened."
Follow the law
President Oak's said, "How do we keep these divine commandments in a world where we are also subject to the laws of man?... we are to follow the laws of men… to live peacefully under civil authority, and we follow the laws of God toward our eternal destination… Though Jesus’s teachings were revolutionary, He did not teach revolution or law breaking."
We also have D&C 58:21-22 "Let no man break the laws of the land, for he that keepeth the laws of God hath no need to break the laws of the land.
Wherefore, be subject to the powers that be, until he reigns whose right it is to reign, and subdues all enemies under his feet."
And the 12th Article of Faith: "We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law."
Get to know them
President Oaks said, "In countless circumstances, strangers’ suspicion or even hostility give way to friendship or even love when personal contacts produce understanding and mutual respect...The Savior’s teaching to love our enemies is based on the reality that all mortals are beloved children of God.”
My senior year in high school, there was a girl in one of my classes who drove me crazy. I thought she was so annoying amongst other verbs. Over the course of the school year, I got to know her and we became good friends. I never told her that I started out the school year not liking her, but in my yearbook she wrote that she did not like me at the beginning of the school year and she was so glad that she gave me a chance and got to know me.
Understand what love is
President Oaks provided several quotes from other prophets and apostles defining love. In summary, you can't give love, if you don't know what it is.
I testify from personal experience that these actions work in creating love in your heart for those you currently do not love. If you have not read President Oaks' talk recently, I highly recommend that you sit down and do so.
