Saturday, June 20, 2020

Sacrament Meeting Talk: How The Book of Mormon Has Blessed Me and My Family

Today I  gave a short talk in my ward's sacrament meeting. The topic I was given is: how The Book of Mormon has blessed me and my family during these trying times.

To be honest, when the first presidency announced the cancellation of Sunday worship services back in March, I cried. Sunday is one of the few times a week that I get face-to-face adult interaction. Before all of this, I used to read my scriptures while I ate my breakfast. After taking Benjamin to school, I would get the girls focused on their toys or a movie, and I would enjoy breakfast by myself with my scriptures. My copy of Come, Follow Me is full of notes until April. With everyone home, I'm lucky to zoom through a chapter, but there is not much time for self-reflection. 

Despite my struggles with personal study, our family study has increased and prospered. On Sundays, we have a family Church service in our home. We sing the hymns that Sister Struthers shares on the ward page, Gerson blesses the Sacrament and passes it, and I teach a full length primary lesson to our three children. I would like to highlight two sections of the Book of Mormon that talk about a parent's responsibility to their children.

Jacob 1:18-19 says,

"For I, Jacob, and my brother Joseph had been consecrated priests and teachers of this people, by the hand of Nephi.

And we did magnify our office unto the Lord, taking upon us the responsibility, answering the sins of the people upon our own heads if we did not teach them the word of God with all diligence; wherefore, by laboring with our might their blood might not come upon our garments; otherwise their blood would come upon our garments, and we would not be found spotless at the last day."

I am responsible for my children's actions if I don't teach them right from wrong. 

In the Come, Follow Me for Individuals and Families, Enos 1:1-3 is highlighted with the question about what those verses mean for parents and children. Enos said that he remembered the things that his dad taught him. In my copy, I wrote: "Teach truth, children will remember what we teach them."

Topics that our at-home Primary has covered so far:
  • Jesus Christ
  • Prophets are seers, they teach about Jesus, we should listen to and follow them
  • Put trust in God
    • Mosiah 7:33 "But if ye will turn to the Lord with full purpose of heart, and put your trust in him, and serve him with all diligence of mind, if ye do this, he will, according to his own will and pleasure, deliver you out of bondage." 
  • The 10 Commandments
  • Repentance and Forgiveness
  • Missionary work
    • Practiced saying, "The Book of Mormon teaches about Jesus Christ."
  • Service
  • Prayer
  • Testimony
  • Resurrection
To teach these topics to my children I have used the Book of Mormon Stories illustrated book, and I highlight 1-3 verses from The Book of Mormon. 

Focusing on Primary during our at-home worship services has helped me be directly involved in my children's religious education. Not that I wasn't before. We have always done FHE and family scripture study, but at the same time I have always relied on nursery and primary teachers to help with that. Now I'm doing it all. This has also helped all of us to share more personal stories to serve as examples for the topics we are teaching and discussing. And my children have been very comfortable sharing their thoughts and asking questions. I taught them how to share a testimony, and both Benjamin and Luna have shared their testimonies on Fast Sunday. My mom and my dad also join us. My dad is inactive, so this has been really special for us to have him there. 

I would like to end by sharing my favorite Book of Mormon verses about Jesus Christ.

Alma 7:11-12

"And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.

And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities."

Jesus Christ knows how to comfort us, because he knows how we feel. I have loved these two verses long before the current crisis hit our family, but I find that this time of emotional and financial struggle makes these verses even more relevant as Gerson and I have had to lean on each other and Jesus Christ. I'm grateful for the experience to study The Book of Mormon so closely as a family. I have really enjoyed teaching my children and watching them think it over and figure out the messages as we talk about it on their level. Focusing on them and teaching them has been the biggest blessing that has come out of all of this. 

Monday, June 15, 2020

Utah's History of Interracial Marriage

This year I learned that June 12th is Loving Day. Loving Day is the anniversary of the Supreme Court's decision in the Loving v. Virginia case to overturn marriage laws that prohibit interracial marriage. As someone who is in an interracial marriage, I felt intrigued to research Utah's marriage laws concerning race. 

Because Utah's early white history is intertwined with Church history, I had to grapple with some tough information about the opinions of early Church members, including prophets and apostles. My testimony of the gospel and belief in Jesus Christ has not been shaken, but I do acknowledge that what was said in the past was wrong. I also understand that those past opinions have influenced the culture of Utah and members of the Church in Utah today. Even though laws and policies have changed, some individual opinions and attitudes haven't, which has caused hurt and pain to many of Heavenly Father's children. To those who I have been hurt by past teachings and current attitudes, I am so sorry. 

The majority of this information I found by reading "The Prohibition of Interracial Marriage in Utah, 1888-1963" by Patrick Q. Mason (link at the bottom).

Pre-Utah Church teachings and events

According to journal entries, Joseph Smith taught that Blacks had souls and were "subjects of salvation." He talked about "equalization," but to him, it must have been a separate-but-equal idea because he also said that they should be confined to their own species. While mayor of Nauvoo, he fined two Black men who had attempted to marry White women. He fined one $25 and the other $5.

 In 1847, William McCary was a black man who was excommunicated for marrying a White woman, Lucy Stanton. The official report was that his excommunication was for polygamous marriages that were not approved by Church leaders. If these allegations of polygamy are true, it is also noted that all of his supposed wives were White, so it's not a hard stretch to consider the racial differences to be the main factor.

1852-1888 An Act in Relation to Service

Brigham Young continued the teachings against interracial marriages between Blacks and Whites. His words were quite bold in the fact that he declared those who did enter such unions deserved death, would loose access to the priesthood, and their children should not breed. Fair Mormon does point out, however, that Brigham Young never ordered the execution of any interracial couple, claiming that Brigham "had more bark than he did bite."

In 1852 the Utah Territory government passed the Act in Relation to Service, which prohibited sexual relations between Whites and Blacks. Such laws were largely accepted across the United States because several Supreme Court cases during that had clarified that both federal and local governments could constitutionally write and enforce laws concerning marriage. These laws were called anti-miscegenation laws, and were coupled with Jim Crow laws in the south and national anti-Chinese immigration laws.

Utah's law is viewed as peculiar to historians because most anti-miscegenation laws were in places where the Black population was at least 5%. Utah's Black population at the time was .3%. Historians believe that Utah participated in these laws because Utah newspapers shared stories of "scandalous" interracial marriages from other states. These stories, along with the attempts of racial equality during the Reconstruction era, led to the fear of "race mixing."

In 1884 a White soldier married a Black woman. The couple received public shaming via the newspapers and on the street.

In 1886 Thomas Colbourn, a Black man, was murdered, and a note was pinned on his body warning Black men to stay away from White women.

In 1887 A Black man and White woman were married in Salt Lake City. The ceremony was performed by a non-Mormon priest. The Salt Lake Tribune - anti-Mormon even then - blamed the Church for the marriage because the territory didn't have an anti-miscegenation law yet (the Act in Relation to Service was only about sex, not marriage).

1888-1963 An Act Regulating Marriage

Due to the above events and opinions, the territorial government passed An Act Regulating Marriage, which was signed into law March 8, 1888. This Act prohibited marriage between Blacks and Whites, Mongolians and Whites, polygamous marriages, incest, marriage "to an idiot", and underage marriages. During this time the federal government was breathing down Utah's neck about polygamy, and as an attempt to deflect, members of the Church tried to turn the spotlight on interracial marriage. However, at this point the federal government had already brought in non-members to Utah government seats, and polygamy was included in the Regulating Marriage Act. 

An important note to make here is that marriage to Native Americans was not included, though other states and territories surrounding Utah did include Native Americans in their prohibition laws. Historians believe this is because the culture of the Church believes that Native Americans are descendants of the Lamanites from the Book of Mormon. This belief created an encouragement to marry "Lamanites" in order to save them. By 1870 about three dozen white men had taken Native American Wives. However, white women were discouraged from marrying Native American men. Another possible reason that Historians have mentioned is that by the 1880s Native Americans had already been segregated from White Utah residents, so the risk of "race mixing" was low. 

In 1889 a family living in Logan was turned into the authorities for being mixed. The husband was Chinese and the wife was White. They had been married in Idaho before Utah's law was put into affect, but the authorities still took their children away.

In 1895 a White woman was denied a temple sealing to her White husband, because she had previously been married to a Black man and had two children from her previous marriage. 

On November 16, 1897 George Q. Cannon wrote in his journal  that he had learned from John Taylor, who had learned from Joseph Smith, that a White man who marries a Black woman would lose the priesthood, and they should die.

In 1898 an Ogden couple was caught in bed after midnight and arrested. William Howard was Black and Ella Howarth was White. Ella tried to claim that she had a Black ancestor, so their relationship was valid. After being put under pressure, Ella admitted that she was full White. She was sent home, and William was sentenced to 20 years in prison.

Also in 1898 Dora Harris and Quang Wah applied for a marriage license in Salt Lake City. They were denied because Quang was Chinese. Dora argued that she was part Black on her mother's side. The county clerk denied that claim, saying that her skin was so light that her White lineage dominated and he declared her White.

In 1907 B.H. Roberts wrote in defense of segregation because it would prevent the mixing of Whites and Blacks by marriage. During the priesthood ban, at least two White men were denied the priesthood because they married Black women - not to mention all Black men were denied the priesthood. The Young Women's journal advised young women of the Church to avoid marrying outside of their race or they will be committing "race disintegration" and "race suicide."

1939 Additions to the Marriage Regulation Act

In 1939 there was an attempt to segregate Black neighborhoods in Salt Lake City. The attempt failed because a group of Black women went to every meeting and made their voices heard.

Also in 1939, further prohibitions were made to the Marriage Regulation Act:
  • Those with syphilis, gonorrhea, and epilepsy 
  • Malay with White
  • half black, one-quarter black, and one-eighth black with White 
The decision to include those of Malaysia and Indonesia heritage came from a case in California where a Filipino-White couple argued for their right to marry because Filipinos are not of Mongolian descent. 

In 1946 J. Reuben Clark counseled the young women to marry within their race, because the opposite, according to him, is both biologically and spiritually wrong. Most Church leaders during this time preached against interracial marriage - with the focus being against marriages to Black people.

1963 Repealing the Marriage Regulation Act

Starting in 1948, individual states started to repeal their anti-miscegenation laws. Idaho did so in 1959, which inspired James Thomas (Black) and Kathleen McMurtrey (White) to travel to Idaho to get married. They had already been living together, and had a baby. Though due to extreme pressure from Kathleen's family, they had given the baby up to a children's agency. After their marriage they returned to Utah and asked for their baby back. Their marriage was denied, as was the request to return their baby. The official reason was that Thomas' divorce from his first wife had not been finalized, it was not finalized until 1960. However, it is without a doubt that Thomas' skin color played a bigger role in the denial. 

As Utah watched the rest of the country, they figured that it was only a matter of time before the Supreme Court made a national decision, and decided to repeal the Marriage Regulation Act on their own in 1963. One Republican representative vocally opposed; stating that the children and grandchildren of such unions will be denied eternity because they would inherit the "curse" from their black ancestors. 

The exact wording of the law:

Utah Code Title 30 Husband and Wife, Chapter 1 Marriage, Section 2.2 Validation of Interracial Marriage

"All interracial marriages, otherwise valid and legal, contracted prior to July 1, 1965, to which one of the parties of marriage was subject to disability  to marry on account of Subsection 30-1-2(5) or (6), as those subsections existed prior to May 14, 1963, are hereby valid and made lawful in all respects as though such marriages had been duly and legally contracted in the first instance."

Afterwards

Although the law had changed, racism among Church members did not. In 1966 a White woman was denied future access to the temple after she married a Black man, and was told that her endowments were now invalid. She appealed to higher leadership, and her living endowments were validated, but the ban from the temple remained. 

When the priesthood ban for Black men was lifted, the Church spokesman at the time clarified that interracial marriage was still discouraged. President Spencer W. Kimball also further explained that while interracial marriage was not a sin, it was still discouraged and considered selfish because of the hardships that both the couple and their future children would endure due to cultural differences.  

In 1995, a talk given by Russell M. Nelson had a footnote that stated that marriages will be most successful when both spouses are of the same religion, language, culture, and ethnic background.

In both 2003 and 2008, the Church was put in a position to clarify that it no longer has any restrictions on interracial marriage. And in 2013 the teacher's manual for the youth was updated, and the Spencer W. Kimball quote about marrying within one's race was removed. In fact, I searched the Church's website for Spencer W. Kimball's teachings on marriage, and I cannot find this quote. 

In both 2007 and 2017 the Deseret News published articles talking about the rise of interracial marriage across the nation (links at the bottom). These articles stated the following statistics:

  • 2000 poll shows that 62% of Whites support interracial marriage.
  • 2005 4% of the nations couples are interracial.
  • 2017 1 in 6 newlyweds are interracial, with support among Whites increasing.
Both articles also shared several individual stories about interracial couples in Utah.

Personal Thoughts

The above research shows that Utah's laws against interracial marriage was directed towards Blacks and Asians. Hispanics were never mentioned. Though one of the Deseret News articles stated that Hispanic-White marriages have only just begun to be recorded as interracial marriages in recent years, so that might be one reason why. A theory of mine is that in Church culture, Hispanics fall under the "Lamanite" umbrella like Native Americans; so members want to "bring them into the fold." It is also noteworthy that the census records for 1920 show 1.2% Hispanic for the entire U.S., no data for Hispanics for 1930, and 1.5% for 1940; so it is also likely that the number of Hispanics living in Utah at the time was not concerning when the Regulation Act was amended in 1939. However, regardless of the law, the culture of racism most definitely has seeped into how some White people in Utah view and treat Hispanics. 

I would also like to mention that this research showed me that the records focused on White marriages to persons of color. As a few of the stories mentioned, one person of color from one race marrying another person of color from a different race was acceptable. I do think it's important to point out that those marriages are still interracial marriages. Just because they both have darker skin, doesn't mean there aren't cultural, and sometimes linguistic differences. A White person does not have to be involved to make a marriage interracial. 

I do believe that Utah's history with racism has influenced the experiences I have had while dating men of color. I have not dated any Black men, and I know the current conversation is about racism against Blacks specifically; but I would like to share my experiences in order to compare with the experiences shared by White-Black couples in Utah. My point will be made clear soon. I promise I am not trying to change the spotlight.

One of my boyfriends from my teenage years was Polynesian. Some members of his family did not like him dating a White girl, and that led to a fast breakup. His family did not openly tell me that, he never told me that, one of his friends told me privately. Another boy, whom I did not date exclusively, we tried to start a relationship and it didn't work out, was Hispanic. One of his siblings told me that their dad did not know I was White. In both of those instances I felt very hurt and offended. I never met either of those parents, so no face-to-face interactions took place. Because of that, I'm not going to be so audacious as to claim any form of racism or prejudice on their part. I just would like to point out that that is only two instances for me of feeling that way. People of color get that multiplied by at least a thousand. They experience stuff like that all the time.

During this time I had a conversation with a co-worker, who was Native American, about interracial relationships. She expressed disapproval and said, "I'm sorry, but you white women steal our men!" This comment has stuck with me since, and I always feel validated when I see a woman of color with a white man because then things are balanced, and marrying Gerson was okay.

My next boyfriend was also Hispanic, and his stepdad and step-sisters were White. I had a really good relationship with his family, and spending time at his house was fun and comfortable. After him, I dated my one and only White boyfriend. When our relationship "became public," one person who was voicing their approval said, "And Chelsey, he's White!" I'm embarrassed to say that I laughed in response. At the time I thought that they were just teasing me because I did have a habit for dating "brown boys." However, when that same person voiced bold disapproval for me dating Gerson, that comment came back to haunt me.

During Christmas of that year, Gerson went home to spend the holiday with his family. He told his mom that he wanted to marry me and that he was going to propose in the near future. His mom told him, "I'm sad that I won't get to talk to my future daughter-in-law." Gerson responded, "I'm not going to marry a Latina just so that you can talk to her." I wasn't offended by that statement. Being able to converse with your family is a valid desire. So, I took that as my cue to learn Spanish, and I registered for a Spanish class the following semester. Gerson's mom has also practiced English, and we currently communicate in broken Spanish and broken English, and really love each other. 

When Gerson and I got engaged, several people thought I was pregnant. The questions and comments depleted my self-esteem because I thought that I was fat and that's where the comments were coming from. It was Gerson who set me straight, "You're not fat. No one can understand why a 19 year old White girl is marrying a 25 year old Hispanic man. Pregnancy is the only thing that makes sense to them."

Throughout our ten year marriage we have had mostly positive experiences. When we encounter something negative though, we have to go through the whole alphabet of "what ifs" and "maybes" before we admit and accept if something was racist. Gerson experiences more racism when he is out and about by himself than when he is with me. A small list off the top of my head:

  • While walking to our car at BYU, a White girl, who was walking ahead of Gerson kept looking back at him with a fearful expression, and eventually broke into a run. (I wasn't there.)
  • Car dealerships always try to overcharge him.
  • Employees at Panda Express and Cafe Rio almost always assume we are separate and look surprised when we are paying together.
  • One time at Dillard's in the shoe department, the Sales Associate, who was Hispanic, would sigh and roll her eyes every time I asked to try on a shoe (Gerson was with me); but had no problem being friendly and helpful to the other couple in the department who were both Hispanic. 
  • A police officer pulled Gerson over and accused him of having "stolen plates" on his car. Gerson told the officer that this was the only car he had ever owned and the plates were not stolen. The cop took Gerson's info and went back to his car, when he came back he claimed there must have been a glitch because now the info showed Gerson's plates matched his registration.
  • A sales associate at Verizon assumed that neither Gerson nor I could do math, and was very condescending the entire time we were renewing our contract. 
  • A stranger called the police on Gerson, claiming that Gerson was driving drunk. While waiting for the police to show up, the stranger tailed Gerson in their own vehicle, scaring Gerson. The police officer who responded was very nice and figured out immediately what was going on, and apologized to Gerson.
  • While parked on the side of a residential road, an old White man banged on Gerson's car window and yelled, "What are you doing in this neighborhood."
  • When playing Pokemon Go at the park, it is not uncommon for White moms to pull their children closer as Gerson walks by.
Why did I include negative experiences with other persons of color? One, because I would be sharing an incomplete story if I didn't. Two, the opposition to interracial relationships can be found on all sides. I would like to make it clear that I do not consider Gerson's conversation with his mom as part of this. I shared that to show the the cultural differences that people who oppose interracial marriages are so concerned about are not something to shy away from. We meet them head on and work together in patience, love, and acceptance.

When it comes to identifying my children, I am very adamant that they are White-Hispanics or White-Latinos. I want them to be proud of and be accepted by both races. We are able to claim this because their skin is a light tan. Biracial people who have darker skin tend to have a harder time claiming their White race. The comedian Trevor Noah said that the only people who are allowed to be White are the people who look White. Mixed people with darker skin have to label themselves as the colored part of their heritage. Trevor grew up in South Africa where there is White, Black, and Colored. In South Africa Trevor is Colored, here he is Black. Either way, he is not allowed to own his White heritage, which is really sad. We need to allow biracial people to label and identify themselves the way they choose to that isn't dependent on the hue of their skin. 

Over the past few weeks I have read several personal experiences from Black people, some who live in Utah. Compared to what they have experienced, Gerson's run-ins with racism are tame. But neither are okay. I encourage everyone to read up on the experiences of Black people, and ask yourself if you have done anything similar to the examples in their stories. Before I married Gerson, I made a lot of mistakes, and I still do. He has been patient with me, and I have learned a lot from him. Listen. Learn. Change. 

Sources:

https://www.jstor.org/stable/45063125?seq=24#metadata_info_tab_contents


https://www.deseret.com/2007/4/13/20012735/mixed-marriages-on-rise#susan-and-mitsuyuki-sakurai-an-immigrant-from-japan-have-been-married-30-years-it-has-been-40-years-since-the-u-s-supreme-court-struck-down-laws-against-interracial-marriages-utah-repealed-its-law-against-such-marriages-in-1963


https://www.deseret.com/2017/5/18/20612565/50-years-after-supreme-court-ruling-interracial-marriage-has-increased-but-varies-by-location#file-richard-p-loving-and-his-wife-mildred-pose-in-this-jan-26-1965-file-photograph-residents-of-caroline-county-virginia-the-lovings-married-in-washington-d-c-in-1958-upon-their-return-to-virginia-the-interracial-couple-was-convicted-under-the-states-law-that-banned-mixed-marriages-they-eventually-won-a-u-s-supreme-court-decision-in-june-1967-that-overturned-laws-prohibiting-interracial-unions-ap-photo


https://le.utah.gov/xcode/Title30/Chapter1/30-1-S2.2.html?v=C30-1-S2.2_1800010118000101


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interracial_marriage_and_The_Church_of_Jesus_Christ_of_Latter-day_Saints#19th_century_teachings_on_black-white_marriages


(I know that wikipedia is not the most credible source. However, the reason I linked it is so that the teachings from past Church leaders are in one comprehensive list. I double checked that each one I mentioned links to a more official and credible source.)